Friday, November 21, 2008

Ode to the Butt Bandit

His year long run
has come to a stop
Nebraska's Butt Bandit
was nabbed by a cop

In a little town
they call Valentine
This petty vandal
faces more than a fine

He was making the rounds
businesses he hit
on their windows he left
an imprint of his slit

To leave his best mark
he had a new notion
He used for his paint
Vaseline or a lotion

Then late Wednesday night
while pressing his butt
The police swept in
And ended this smut

The police now proclaim
this town is safe for us
From the Butt Bandit
and his heinous anus
at

16 comments:

  1. Miles McClaganNovember 21, 2008 at 11:06 PM

    This poem it rhymed
    It was better for that
    But to publicise the ass
    May encourage a copycat?

    ReplyDelete
  2. jNovember 21, 2008 at 11:23 PM

    How would we know about these hard-hitting (?) news stories without you, Bob?

    ReplyDelete
  3. kylieNovember 21, 2008 at 11:45 PM

    i'm speechless !

    hi bob

    ReplyDelete
  4. MeganNovember 22, 2008 at 1:37 AM

    A year is a long time!

    ReplyDelete
  5. CSI SeattleNovember 22, 2008 at 1:54 AM

    I'm sensing a theme from the last two posts. Is there something you want to tell us?

    ReplyDelete
  6. MeganNovember 22, 2008 at 2:32 AM

    "If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything."

    ReplyDelete
  7. SuzanneNovember 22, 2008 at 4:55 AM

    I was trying to look at this post from an artistic point of view, but realized I was doomed when I notice stuff probably others didn't. I looked at the table. He's a smoker, a drinker and obviously an ass. Throw the book at him.

    ReplyDelete
  8. SuzanneNovember 22, 2008 at 5:01 AM

    Yes, supposed to be "noticed." Hey, it's almost 3 am.

    Miles is here! Welcome honey. Great name. Well I noticed because she's looking at me as I type this. What? That is really a great name. I think my next kitty should be names Miles. Beautiful. So what Miles, you're Japanese?









    What? I can't help myself.

    ReplyDelete
  9. CeceNovember 22, 2008 at 2:41 PM

    This is quite the assinine post. I am so asshamed I laughed. You silly boy.

    ReplyDelete
  10. a.November 22, 2008 at 6:23 PM

    Waiting for an ode to toast. Even if it's ode to toast 2

    ReplyDelete
  11. DivaNovember 22, 2008 at 7:27 PM

    This guy is a sham
    I must admit
    He copied me
    But I used my tits.

    Bwaaahahahahaha...

    And chocolate syrup.

    ReplyDelete
  12. SuzanneNovember 22, 2008 at 8:57 PM

    God I love women. They're absolutely hilarious.

    Where the hell are you? My kitty at the park caused me to fall today and you were where?? That's right. You weren't in sight. *Rolls eyes in head.*

    I'm still looking at Miles as I type this. Miles, where'd you get that tank top? It's gorgeous. Or is that a bathing suit. Oh, nice shoulder. You should meet Kylie. She's from Australia. You'll see her shoulder around if you stick around. I once posted about my lovely shoulders, but honey, now that I look at yours, hell, mine suck!

    XO

    P.S. Kylie's two comments below!!! Didn't realize that. See that shoulder? I know, it looks like a boob!

    ReplyDelete
  13. just bobNovember 22, 2008 at 10:06 PM

    I'm always around, like eggshell white... in the background.

    ReplyDelete
  14. SuzanneNovember 22, 2008 at 10:29 PM

    Finds Bob in background and kisses him to bits.

    Hi Bob. What? Hard f****** day. I'm going to change my name to Miles McClagan. What?!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Attila the MomNovember 23, 2008 at 4:22 AM

    Bravo!! Bravo!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Paddy in BA (Quickroute)November 23, 2008 at 9:16 AM

    Well he certainly made an ass of himself

    ReplyDelete

Upper management encourages comments and suggestions from our valued customers. Please feel free to refer us to your family and friends.