Saturday rhymes with Monterey

A Saturday afternoon walk inspired by Karen ^..^

"It's a fabulous place when the tide is in, a wave-churned basin creamy with foam... But when the tide goes out the little water world becomes quiet and lovely."

John Steinbeck
Cannery Row

Welcome to Cannery Row... Monterey, California

Red or white?

Birds enjoying the sun... sailboats in the background

Vintage signs on sale

Maybe I should have gotten a reading?

Harbor seals sunbathing on shore

Green Gables Inn

Kayaking in the Bay

DOH!!!

Beautiful Roadster stain glass window

California Cypress

Monterey Bay Aquarium

The end of a day in Monterey

jb and The Brain, Act III

just bob (jb): I made it through the week, no thanks to you
The Brain: Sorry, things up here are sort of in disarray
jb: Well, it's Friday afternoon and we survived
The Brain: Yes we did, thanks for bearing with me
jb: Are things get sorted out up there?
The Brain: It's a little better than before, but no where near fixed
jb: Is it the big stuff or the little stuff?
The Brain: The little stuff kind of got out of control and woke up the big stuff
jb: And all hell broke loose right?
The Brain: Yeh. I've learned to move the big stuff around to keep everything at least running
jb: But the little stuff was taking up those dark corners?
The Brain: Something like that
jb: And the system broke down?
The Brain: Something like that
jb: How long until it gets fixed?
The Brain: You know it will never get fixed, but at least some things are working again

jb: Can I change topics?
The Brain: Sure, what's up?
jb: How did you keep from not completely blowing up this morning?
The Brain: You know I almost did, but I sort of just gave up
jb: Gave up?
The Brain: I can't care anymore. Right will always be wrong.
jb: It frustrates you doesn't it?
The Brain: Immensely
jb: Did that long walk help?
The Brain: Oh yeah, sorry about sending all that adrenaline your way.
jb: How much longer can you take this place?
The Brain: I'm not sure which of us will break down first, but we'll cope and survive as long as we have to
jb: Is it ever going to get better here?
The Brain: No. It won't improve. I'm cutting my losses and giving up trying.
jb: Should I too?
The Brain: No. I need you to take care of yourself. Once I get us out of here I'll need you in good condition
jb: I'm not getting on a treadmill
The Brain: I'm not asking you to, just put down the Doritos bag would you?
jb: Can I start after the game Sunday?
The Brain: Sure, after the game is fine.

jb: One more thing?
The Brain: Sure, then let's start the weekend.
jb: Can you believe all of those things our blogging friends have been doing for you?
The Brain: I'm really embarrassed.
jb: The concern, the quotes, the advice, and the offers have been overwhelming
The Brain: It touches me too.
jb: They've never even met us
The Brain: But they know us a lot better than anyone else out here
jb: I can tell they really care
The Brain: It's been a long time since anyone cared
jb: They're good people
The Brain: I hate always being so negative around them. I must sound like a whiner.
jb: I think they understand
The Brain: Maybe things will be normal again someday
jb: Let's hope so.
The Brain: Go ahead and have another Dorito... the weekend is here.

Words

Thanks to all who have left many nice, comforting, and supportive words on my previous post. At some point I'll be able to respond to each of you individually. Please know that your comments mean a great deal. They are the first thing I read in the morning, and the last that I check before going to bed.

I know that all of you have your own life struggles which are much more important than mine. In the grand scheme of things, my troubles pale in significance. They began many years ago, and they will cast their shadow for years to come. I can only hope that the sun will rise high in the noon time sky and shorten the shadows for a brief moment.

I used to...

I used to anticipate playing golf... now I can't be bothered
I used to enjoy the challenge of cooking... now I make something easy and fast
I used to have plenty of blog ideas... now I have nothing to share
I used to look forward to work... now I'd like to curl up and stay in bed forever
I used to have a spirit for driving and exploring... now I go where I need to
I used to care how I looked and felt... now I don't
I used to try more things... now I don't have the energy or desire
I used to dream... now I just sleep
I used to have desire... now I have melancholy
I used to go out... now I keep to myself
I used to want to write a book... now I can barely form a sentence
I used to be uplifted by music... now it is just background noise
I used to have confidence... now I am full of uncertainty
I used to wish for someone in my life... now I want to be alone
I used to think better times were ahead... now I settle for not so bad
I used to have a place in this world.

Adios Paco

Adios Paco... you will be missed by all your friends and fans.

Oh No!!!

You all know him. He was trouble from head to toe. He was only 2 lbs at six months and when he'd walk into a room you'd hear "OH NO!" So his name...Ohno.

Bob's a bit blue, so I thought I'd entertain you all with my wee one. He's all "growed" up now. A whopping 12 solid lbs and gorgeous. About 8 months ago he developed tuffs of puff behind his ears and they have provided endless amusement for me!!! Love you all. Enjoy!

XOXOXOXOXO Suze!!!

Etiquette

(This was going to be the space for a thoughtful post about Martin Luther King, Jr.)


Explicit Language: You've been warned.

I'm normally a fairly low key person. I'd like to think that most people who read this blog regularly (BTW, thanks) have come to that conclusion. It is in my nature to generally keep my emotions in check. But now I'm fucking pissed.

Laundry.... not my favorite chore to begin with. Anyway, it's MLK Day and not everyone has the day off so my game plan is to get into the laundry room first thing in morning when the property manager unlocks the door. There is only two washers and two dryers, so demand can be high. Anyway, at 8:05am I go downstairs to the laundry room and just as I planned it I have the place to myself. Relief. I get two loads of clothes into washers, two blue balls, some detergent and I'm on my way. Because I have some manners and etiquette (and I want to keep the laundry timeline moving along), I set my kitchen timer when I get upstairs for the time the washers would be done. A little coffee, some more coffee, and a few emails and the timer goes off. I grab my quarters and next two loads and downstairs I go.

I open the door and here I find some fucking bitch taking MY laundry out of the machine so she can get to it. It has been less than five fucking minutes since the machine finished and she's got her paws all over my stuff. What kind of raving fucking bitch asshole touches someone's personal things? Totally out of character for me: "Hey, what the hell are you doing? That's my laundry. Get your hands off of it." She is what I'd term elderly and now shocked that someone would speak to her that way. "Look lady, I got here early and your going to have to wait until I'm done." I think my tone, volume, and icy stare scared her and she sheepishly placed her laundry basket in the corner and slinked out of the room. Current status: two loads now in the dryers, and two more in the washers.

When the fuck did people stop having manners and etiquette? I've lived in apartments nearly 10 years and dorms in college 4 more years and NEVER taken someone else's laundry out of a machine so I could use it. Have you ever heard of anything so rude and fucking obnoxious? I plan my laundry. I watch the clock so I don't take up machines that someone else can use. I clean my own dryer lint screens so people don't have to touch my residue. I'm considerate to people who I have to live amongst. I have manners and practice some etiquette around them, even when I don't get the same in return. Current status: I'm still pissed off at that fucking bitch. If I had enough quarters, I'd keep running those machines empty the rest of the day just so she couldn't use them until late night. I was in a good mood, ready to get a lot accomplished today. Bitch.

Let the trash talking begin

vs.

ARIZONA CARDINALS vs. PITTSBURGH STEELERS

vs.

MR. SHIFE vs. QUEEN GOOB

vs.

ARIZONA ICE TEA vs. IRON CITY BEER

SUN vs. SNOW


LET THE TRASH TALKING BEGIN!

For RC

WTF

Why in the world does Orville Redenbacher list the nutritional information for unpopped popcorn? Are there people actually buying microwave movie theater butter flavored popcorn and eating it straight out of the bag without cooking it? Are there people who crave the taste of raw corn kernels, buttered oil and salt? Does one get so hungry in eager anticipation of popcorn that they can't wait the 3 minutes it takes to prepare it?

Is there a huge population of uncooked popcorn eaters in North America? If there is, why would they buy microwave popcorn when they could buy kernels in bulk for less? Is it the convenience of having the salt and oil pre-mixed and coated on the kernels in individual packaging? How did Orville Redenbacher determine that 2 tablespoons of unpopped corn is the appropriate portion size? Did the community of raw corn kernel eaters contact the late Redenbacher and clamor for 2 tablespoons to be the international standard for uncooked corn?

Did Orville Redenbacher know something the rest of the population does not know? Are raw corn kernels soaked in buttery oil and salt even tastier than their fluffy, white popped counterparts? Will there be a day when we go to the movie theater and pay $10 for a large tub of unpopped kernels? Will we still be able to order extra butter on our unpopped kernels? Will the secret simplicity of unpopped corn kernels as a late night snack go to the grave with Orville? Is this unpopped nutritional fact on the microwave bags Redenbacher's way of passing along his secret in a cryptic way?

An unkept promise

I feel like I've been back sliding lately. I made a decision over two years ago to only have a drink when I wanted one, not when I needed one. Over the past 24 months, it hasn't always been easy but I've kept this resolution to myself. I made countless conscious efforts to not stop on my way home for a quick drink, or to pick up a six pack to unwind. While it's not always an admirable trait, once I get home from work I'm usually planted for the night. So if there is no alcohol at home when I get there, I'm too lazy to go out to get some. Sloth finally paying off.

Unfortunately, I got a lot of booze for the holidays. One bottle of wine here, a bottle of vodka there, and it all adds up quickly. It's free, and it's at home. Well, at least it was at home. The holiday gifts have already become holiday recyclables and I can say that I didn't want many of those drinks. In fact, it would be fairly safe to assume I didn't want any of them. (The Fat Tire during the bowl games being the exception.) It bothers me that I let myself down yet again and went back on my promise. It bothers me that I'm not strong enough to resist that temptation. It bothers me that other things which I thought I had under control have also gone off track as well. It bothers me that it was so easy to fall into old habits.

I don't want this to seem like it's all about the alcohol, because it's not. It's more about the disappointment of failing to meet my own standards. It's knowing that I took the easy route when it was provided to me rather than the more challenging road. It's having that drink when I needed it and it's gaining 10 pounds because I used food as a substitute for joy yet again. Part of it is knowing that I'd be the only one to notice the changes. I think I've had my wake-up call and will recommit myself to my alcohol promise and others, but I also wonder if I'm heading down a bumpy road that I've been down before and don't want to see again. As much as some things have changed, there are issues which remain the same and are out there trip me up. Some are easily seen and avoided but some are lurking in the weeds, disguised or invisible, like landmines waiting to explode upon contact.

Three months and counting

Sunday was the three month anniversary of The Fence. Some of it is being utilized, as you can see in the background, but much of it still sits idle. It makes you wonder why someone ordered so much fencing. Did they think it would be a more expansive project? Do they not know how to calculate square footage? Did they get such a great deal on the fencing they couldn't refuse? Are they fence hoarders? Did the fence company read the delivery order wrong? Is there a bigger project still on the boards that was supposed to start earlier? Are you tired of reading about the fence yet?

An unsent letter

Hey there, it's me. It has been a long time but I wanted to drop you this note. Congratulations on your business and career. I imagine it has been a whirlwind of meetings, travel, and negotiations for you this past year; but I'm sure things are turning out the way you want them, even if it is not moving along as fast as you'd like.

Oh yeah, I mentioned a year. Did you know the last time I saw you was a year ago? Sure, we traded messages and emails for a while afterward but one year ago this month was the last time we met in person. I know I had a good time and was hoping that there would be many more. That was probably because you said that you'd like to see each other more frequently as well when things slowed down in your life. I understood what you meant by that. Building your business and caring for your children as a single mom was going to be a lot of hard work and hours. I totally got that. I guess my plan of maybe seeing you every other week or a few times a month was a bit off the mark.

I had no inkling that your life would not slow down in one year. Things never slowed down enough for a date. Things never slowed down for a quick glass of wine or coffee on a night when the father had the kids for the week. Things never slowed down for a chat session, racy or otherwise, as we had acquired a habit of having after the kids were in bed. I tried to be patient and understanding. I gave you some space, not wanting you to feel I was pressing too hard. Eventually my messages and emails went unanswered enough times for me to know that no response would be forthcoming.

It would have been ok to say you did not want to see me anymore. Really it would have. To drag things out and keep saying you wish you had the time didn't help me. In fact, it had the opposite effect. On top of missing out on someone I was very attracted to and felt very comfortable around (which is rare), I got the chance to be strung along and figure out myself that I had been mislead. You had always been honest in the past, so I trusted you on this. I don't know if you realize or care that it hurt me a great deal. After moving to California less than six months earlier and meeting someone I really liked so soon, I thought my life had turned around. A new year, a new job and home, and a new, special person to share it with. I thought for the first time in a long time that things were finally going my way and that there was a chance I could be happy. Guess not.

I turn on my messenger every once and a while to see if you'll stop by. You remember, right around 10 pm when you would put the kids to bed, grab a glass of wine for yourself, and pop onto the screen of my laptop. We'd chat sometimes until 2am. Sometimes we'd just catch up with each other, sometimes we'd get a little naughty, and sometimes it was a quick exchange to keep each other company on a chilly night. But I guess one year later life still hasn't slowed down enough for that either. Not even long enough to let me know you got my Happy Thanksgiving message. I hope you are happy with wherever the last 12 fast paced months have taken you. And I do mean that... it's not just a story.

Comments have been turned off for this post. Please respect my choice and don't use any other forum to respond to this. Things will return back to normal with my next post.

Pardon the interruption

Pardon the interruption, just bob isn't all that creative right now. The Dick's in his life (not Dick's Sporting Goods which is great) have brought him down and he's not feeling too funny or entertaining. Not sure when just bob will be back, but he's reading your blogs.

Why

Why do I try to help people who clearly don't want help?
Why do I try to improve a dysfunctional workplace when the people who made it that way don't want it changed?
Why can't I just blend in like the rest, do my job, and punch out at 5:00?
Why can't I just deal with the pessimistic atmosphere that hangs in the air?
Why can't I cope with the stress that the negativity creates?
Why haven't I given up by now?
Why does this have to be so difficult?
Why do I even care when no one else does?

Let the fencing commence

Sometime over the past three days I've been off, there has been some activity with The Fence. A part of the temporary fencing is now being used to secure two portable toilets, a construction crane/lift and four dormant trees.

The remainder of the temporary fencing continues
protecting more temporary fencing.