Ever wonder what Humpty Dumpty was doing up on that wall? I mean seriously, if you were an egg wouldn't you be a little bit more careful than sitting atop a high wall? Was he up there trying to get a tan, wanting desperately to be a brown egg?What caused Humpty Dumpty to fall? Obviously he was an oval, so he was more inclined to tumble because of his rotund bottom. Was he knocked over by a strong gust of wind? Was there an earthquake that shook him down?
And why exactly did the king send all of his horses and all of his men to Humpty Dumpty's place? Was he a friend of the king? Or was there something much more sinister going on?
Here's my theory... Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall because he was a peeping tom. He was looking through the window of the neighbor's home, watching the lady of the house in various states of undress. In a fit of rage, the neighbor's husband brandished a firearm and began to shoot at Humpty Dumpty. In an effort to evade the bullets, Humpty Dumpty with his rotund oval bottom lost his balance and took his now famous great fall. The King, now remorseful about shooting at one of his citizens, dispatched all of his horses and all of his men to the scene of the tragic accident. The King knew the public would never stand for this kind of blind violence against the common man, so all of the horses and all of the men concocted an elaborate story about trying to save good old Humpty Dumpty. It was a stroke of genius. The King's spin machine went into action, framing the facts to make it appear the King was distraught about the fate of his neighbor and rallied all of his resources to rescue Humpty. And so it goes... a legend is born.
It was either that, or O.J. did it. Hopefully this cracked you up.
hehheh! I always knew there was something peculiar about that Egg...
ReplyDeleteHilarious Bob! I never really thought about it but totally think your story is no story but the inside scoop! Who do you know? I think you might know the Weeble Wobble guy!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Belligerent Bob!
A Peeping Humpty. Now that's a novel idea.
ReplyDeleteNow we all know the truth, thanks to you. Humpty is avenged.
ReplyDeletelol. you should really work in washington, DC, as you can spin a good one yourself. as far as OJ, just check the glove...
ReplyDeleteWhat a yolk!
ReplyDeleteActually, you KNEW it was political, didn't you!
Heh, heh! Humpty shoulda picked a wall surrounded by bushes. Then again, he was prob'ly too busy to not notice, til it was too late! Silly ol' egg!
ReplyDeleteanother conspiracy theory! Don't anybody tell Oliver Stone, he'll want to make it into a movie.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! You know, if everyone took the time to examine these "fairy tales" instead of just accepting them as is and repeating them to their children, over and over again, the world would be a better place. ; )
ReplyDeleteSomeone named Humpty had to be a pervert
ReplyDeleteHilarious. Bob, you're very clever, and no, I never knew that about Humpty, but it's all starting to make sense now.
ReplyDeleteI bought a book in LA intitled, "The Real Mother Goose." I bought it for the illustrations of course (gorgeous), but the original nursery rhymes are insane! I agree completely with DinometerDeb. The edited versions are often not much better, but trust me, they're better!
Here's a special one:
WHEN
When I was a bachelor
I lived by myself;
And all the
bread and cheese I got
I laid up on the shelf.
The rats and the mice
They made such a strife,
I was forced to go to London
To buy me a wife.
The streets were so bad,
And the lanes were so narrow,
I was forced to bring
my wife home
In a wheelbarrow.
The wheelbarrow broke,
And my wife had a fall;
Down came wheelbarrow
Little wife and all.
~
What?
Oh, by the way, stop by my blog because Merelyme left something for you on the "Honey Do List." Good luck with that. Just a suggestion, you may want to buy a chain saw!!! Home Depot's having a sale.
XO
Also, I love the illustration you selected. Beautiful. You know me and art.
ReplyDeleteKnow what else? You can tell I'm not a writer because all your writing friends wrote 1-3 sentences. Not me!!!
Love ya, Blottie
cracked me up. hahahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteDEFINITELY cracked me up. The king's spin machine was certainly dynamic. The story sticks to this day!
ReplyDeleteJasper FForde wrote a book called The big Over Easy. It is a Mystery about Humpty being found murdered beneath the wall. Other characters are nursery rhymes characters. a good read and funny.
ReplyDeleteWell, Jo is MY new best friend!
ReplyDelete:)
Guess I lose again.
ReplyDeleteCracked up, hahahaha, I get it BOB!!!
ReplyDeleteThis was really cute. I liked it a lot.
Some eggs just can't sit on a wall without perving out on some hapless wench trying to bed her lover.
Oh my God. My ears just perked up!!! There's hope.
ReplyDeleteWith love,
The Wedding Planner
P.S. My next comment will be about:
1)10 Ways To Win A Man, and
2)10 Ways To Lose A Woman!
Yes, I totally believe that is why he fell. It all makes sense to me now. I wonder if the King ever felt guilty or did they scoop HD up and scramble him for dinner. Now that would be justice. And just think no one would know, well except for all of his men, so the King had to invite them to reap the rewards of their work. Yeah, that is why they didn't put him back to dinner again. Whoops I meant together again.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I just could not help myself. And I love your version of this. Between you and subt, I have learned a lot about HD today.
Thank you for sharing.
God bless.
I should have said, "Hoppy Birthday Bob". C'mon - do I have less that a month to go?
ReplyDeleteCracked me up . . pervy egg!
ReplyDeleteYou are an eggellent story teller!
ReplyDeleteSo where he hell are you?
ReplyDeleteBob! Happy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteBob, your comment "cracked" me up. *Sits ass down on Shabby Chic sofa and cradles Humpty Dumpty. "Don't worry sweetie, I bought Epoxy at Home Depot, you're going to be just fine. Baby, have you seen my sweater?"*
ReplyDeleteHow did my damn blog end up on the Wild Onion? "Momma always told me there'd be days like these."
XO ;)
...it's the great cover up!
ReplyDelete:p
Happy Easter!
Wasn't he a cannon?
ReplyDeleteI want to know what was going on with that saucy Miss Muffet on her tuffet.
Happy Easter and Birthday Bob!
ReplyDeleteFunny!
ReplyDelete