Out on a limb...

Thursday night / Friday morning marked a significant moment in recent memory. As mentioned in an earlier post, there's someone who I'm very attracted to, but lately she has had no time for me. It's been frustrating and disappointing that we haven't been able to get together, only chatting on-line and trading messages. Well, during our late night chat, I asked if everything was ok with her, as the last time we had communicated she seemed tired, stressed, and a little down. She indicated that she was still a somewhat tired, and had a lot of projects going on that were consuming all of her time. Given her commitments both personal and professional, that really didn't come as a great surprise. It's what she said later that both worried me (for her) and made me venture out on a limb myself.

She openly worried that all of her commitments were starting to steal away a part of her identity... that of a vital, sensual woman. She said that even IF she did have the time to meet that she wouldn't want to because she didn't feel very sexy and was self conscious about her looks right now. (As an aside, she's a very beautiful woman and I would doubt that she has to worry about her looks... but I digress). I mentioned that with her busy lifestyle, she needs to make some "me time" a priority, even if it means scheduling it like a business appointment. When she said that her personal identity wasn't a priority, I kind of lost my cool and jumped up on my soap box to give her some advice. Some of this came from personal experience, some from life long observation, and some from common sense. I did preface this with her by saying "I might be selfish saying this but..." It was frank, honest and a little blunt. Some of it was out of frustration, some of it was out of genuine concern. It was probably 60 vs. 40... I'll let you decide from where I was coming. Of course, the idea would be her spending that "me time" with me.

In my journal that night just after the chat I wrote this:
I did say a lot of things which I meant, but I feel the most powerful was "you are a priority in some people's lives." That was a risk, a very big one. I'm proud you took it. Something this good is worth fighting for. She is special and you know it.
So I'm out on a limb with this one. Will she take my advice to heart or will she press on and put her personal life to the side again? Will she understand that I do care about her as a person or will she resent the idea of me butting in? Will she realize that I'm opening up to her, being honest about my feelings or did this breeze by her while she was thinking about any of her commitments? Will she reach out to me, even if it's just to say hello or have I blown any chance of seeing her again? My heart's wide open and exposed, will it get embraced or strangled???