When I get 30 questions at I Got Nuthin' (currently at 24) I will answer them. In the mean time, please enjoy this edition of Blottie Asks...
#1: Why did you pick me to be Blottie?
Travel with me back in time to a post long, long ago....
#2: A There are women right on this blog who would marry you in an instant (sorry baby, I can't). B Why don't you think you are worthy and C what would you wear to the wedding and why?
A) None of the women who would "marry you in an instant" have ever seen me live and in person. That ultimately would scare any of them away and likely haunt them for life.
B) 20 years of evidence and history has proven that I am in fact undesirable. This is such an airtight case that Judge Judy couldn't even pick it apart.
C) Since there won't be a wedding that makes this portion of the question null and void.
#3: Where would you like to honeymoon? And who do you think should pay for it?
I'd have to get married to have a honeymoon. Since that won't happen, this question is also null and void.
#4: Panties or no panties?
Boxers
#5: Tolstoy or Thurber?
Tolstoy played goalie for the Toronto Maple Leafs and Thurber batted 5th for the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers right? I'll go with Thurber because he could move the runner into scoring position with less than two outs.
#6: Deep dish pizza or New York Style pizza?
Deep dish all the way.
#7: Your dream date?
I'm undateable which makes this question null and void as well.
#8: Love. What does it mean to you?
Love is zero points in tennis.
#9: You Anon 69? 67? 55? 68? Etc.?
I sign my name to everything so no I am none of them.
#10: Your favorite flower?
Crabgrass
#11: Am I just a bad speller or simply a fast typer?
You type fast and don't review your work before hitting submit.
#12: Proof or not proof?
80-Proof
#13: Do you know how to delete forever? (Apparently not because that one's still up there. When you delete, hit backspace, you will be asked if you want to "Delete Forever." Hit "YUP!!!" And poof, just like at the Wild Onion, it's gone.)
Comment deleted
This answer has been removed by a blog administrator.
#14: Well I can't leave it on #13. Hummmmmmm, this isn't going to be as easy as I thought. Taps top lip with forefinger and looks to sky for inspiration. Okay, got it. Do you know the meaning of "importunate" without looking it up in the dictionary?
No I did not. I had to look it up.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Blottie Asks...
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23 comments:
So you believe you are undesirable based solely on your looks? I think you are not only selling yourself short, you are selling the ladies short as well.
You are neither undesirable, nor undateable, unloveable, unattractive. We've seen your picture, for goodness sake! We know you're cute!! You can't hide from us ladies with good taste! And your blog is enough to show how thoughtful and intelligent and funny you are. I'm sorry, and I don't usually do this, but I just have to intervene after reading your answers. Look, YOU YOURSELF are a blottie dude!!!!!!!
And if you're worried about being moody and/or slightly depressive, well, read my post today for what I know to be a widely-held opinion on that male characteristic.
Now you know I'm for reals here because when have I ever come to your blog and busted out like this!?! You are totally crushworthy and that is the final word on the matter. Okay, I've embarrassed myself enough. I'm signing off.
The thirty- something woman's point of view:
I saw your picture at some point or another and I don't think you're "undesirable". I'm not going as far as to say I'd "marry you in an instant" (this might be a disaster for you-- I have some pretty nutty tendencies). But I don't think you should rule out the idea of matrimony/ palimony/ whatever- mony. It could happen for you. That is, if you are willing to let it happen. What I'm seeing (and granted, I'm not seeing everything-- I'm in Texas, afterall)is that you might possibly be into the "wrong" women. My unsolicited advice is to figure out why this is happening.
Regardless, Bob, you are great. Don't sell yourself so short, get out there and find you a lady.
That is, if you want to. . .
Karen
Based on what Leah said...if Suzanne is Blottie does that make you a Blot? Bob the Blot. Gotta love him 'cuz he's our guy.
We might start a new blog, called Blot's Beauties...
God I love this place, this post and all our friends on the comment page. I'm laughing too hard. Good one Bob. I'll tell you my favorite, #5. Brilliant! And #11. No I never review. I'm going to start. This is so much fun, and thanks. And Bob, I'm going to kick your ass if you don't snap out of this!!! You are so loved and so desirable. What makes you think you aren't? Ugh. You're gonna make me nutty. I'm looking forward to the wedding. Megan, will you do me the honors honey. Yes, I expect to be the Maid of Honor, or the Best Man. No, I'm not kidding. *Adjust ceral box and green dress* Starts baking cheese cake.
I'm starving. I haven't been eating much lately, stress I think. Let's get a deep dish and discuss sports, love, panties v. boxers. You know, all the good stuff!
Love you my darling. And thanks for this one. Way too funny. Never expected it. Right out of left field. Thanks.
XO Blottie
Well, of course I'm still laughing. What did you expect? I love Brian's photo of me. Giggie and I were just talking about all of you tonight. You're the best. We all came together for a reason and for that I am grateful. Thank you Bob for this unique and beautiful post. I'll never forget it. I'd marry you if I could.
XO Blottie
P.S. I'd like to introduce you to my darling, smart, witty friend Megan. I think you two are destined for one another. Megan, Bob. Bob, Megan. Here, sit down and have a cocktail. (Severus is behind the bar mixing like a mad man!)
bob
i'm so disappointed , you are so clever but you just use your brain to deflect the interesting questions and the genuine compliments.
i give you a "could do better" on this one
by the way, you are a winner at the grand comp
love
k
KYLIE!!! HE WON??? He didn't even really answer the damn questions here and you still gave him the trophy over there? Damn. I'll be right over to bitch. Damn. Oh, and Bob, just so you know, I stopped by because I was cleaning litter boxes and got laughing so hard I had to say something. The "Panties or no painties" answer is hilarious. Every time I think about it I start laughing. Only you. Only you my dear man.
XO
Dear Blot,
Guess what!!!??? We both won! Not the big cahunga (Brian won that), but as far as I can detect, we came in after IV, so that means a Bronze Metal and a plastic prize!!!! Hip Hip Hurray!!! We won!!!
Love Blottie! ;)
Hey Bob,
another winner! congrats. Can't say much more I've run out of words.
Just had to comment...again because of the word verification...reelnes
That is so Bob/Blot.
Blog + bob = Blob, not Blot
Ok honesty is here. You are not ugly. I know because I have seen pictures of you. You may,however, be undesirable. Not due to your looks, ect but simply due to the fact that you lack self confidance. Many women, (not most, and not all)already have plenty self doubt about flaws in their appearances, ect, therefore, they are not looking for a man with those same flaws. So I say go out and find yourself a confident woman and knock her dead with all of your insecurities. Preserve her body, replace her blood and bones with electronics and turn her into a robot, marry her, ans whalla! Your perfect girl. No, just kidding. This was a funny post. I'm just in a real bitch mood today and therefore, I am just being plain mean. Read my comment at The Onion to see why. Life just sucks, Bob. There is only one way out of it. But, you need to try and find joy in it, because if we can't find joy, then there isn't much point in being here. I am just glad that even on bad days, I'm able to find Joy. (I hear it's a nice lubricant.) Just kidding it would burn like the dickens. HAAA, I"m going to stop now while I"m ahead. No, I'm not drunk. Seriously, I"m not, just in a pissy mood. Ok, I'm going to stop now. Bye.
That's my Cece!!! Nope, I can verify, she's not drunk, she's just pissed. She's dealing with a whole hell of a lot of shit and venting is good. And yup Bob, she's right!!! What will you do? Just put up a new post and never address Cece (we all know you so well by now!!!). And Cece, wow! She was almost as bad as Blottie spoutin' off at the mouth!!! You go girl!
We love you Bob.
XO
Ok then, how bout:
Blute - Blog + Cute
Bleet - Blog + Sweet
Blork - Blog + Dork
Oh wait, that last one is me...
I'll be frank, I'd grab that girl and marry her. Leah is probably already ordained. I can be within a few hours if I hit every green light on Manzanita.
XO
Very evasive answers, which concerns me: will I ever find out where butterflies go when it rains? Bob, I am counting on you for the straight dope, or perhaps the culethip, which is my word verification for today.
I have to agree with the others: you are selling yourself short. You are attractive, can write well, and have a terrific sense of humor. Ladies like this kind of stuff.
if you can make a woman laugh you're halfway up her leg
Kylie, that comment is worthy of Dorothy Parker.
We never did hit on the gestation period for the Tibetan yak...and what’s this thirty question thing I’m reading everywhere? I’m gone for a few days and chaos runs rampant. .....
Queen... here is the link.
Kylie, that is the best!!! And I agree. ;)
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