Friday, November 21, 2008

Ode to the Butt Bandit

His year long run
has come to a stop
Nebraska's Butt Bandit
was nabbed by a cop

In a little town
they call Valentine
This petty vandal
faces more than a fine

He was making the rounds
businesses he hit
on their windows he left
an imprint of his slit

To leave his best mark
he had a new notion
He used for his paint
Vaseline or a lotion

Then late Wednesday night
while pressing his butt
The police swept in
And ended this smut

The police now proclaim
this town is safe for us
From the Butt Bandit
and his heinous anus

16 comments:

Miles McClagan said...

This poem it rhymed
It was better for that
But to publicise the ass
May encourage a copycat?

j said...

How would we know about these hard-hitting (?) news stories without you, Bob?

kylie said...

i'm speechless !

hi bob

Megan said...

A year is a long time!

CSI Seattle said...

I'm sensing a theme from the last two posts. Is there something you want to tell us?

Megan said...

"If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything."

Suzanne said...

I was trying to look at this post from an artistic point of view, but realized I was doomed when I notice stuff probably others didn't. I looked at the table. He's a smoker, a drinker and obviously an ass. Throw the book at him.

Suzanne said...

Yes, supposed to be "noticed." Hey, it's almost 3 am.

Miles is here! Welcome honey. Great name. Well I noticed because she's looking at me as I type this. What? That is really a great name. I think my next kitty should be names Miles. Beautiful. So what Miles, you're Japanese?









What? I can't help myself.

Cece said...

This is quite the assinine post. I am so asshamed I laughed. You silly boy.

a. said...

Waiting for an ode to toast. Even if it's ode to toast 2

Diva said...

This guy is a sham
I must admit
He copied me
But I used my tits.

Bwaaahahahahaha...

And chocolate syrup.

Suzanne said...

God I love women. They're absolutely hilarious.

Where the hell are you? My kitty at the park caused me to fall today and you were where?? That's right. You weren't in sight. *Rolls eyes in head.*

I'm still looking at Miles as I type this. Miles, where'd you get that tank top? It's gorgeous. Or is that a bathing suit. Oh, nice shoulder. You should meet Kylie. She's from Australia. You'll see her shoulder around if you stick around. I once posted about my lovely shoulders, but honey, now that I look at yours, hell, mine suck!

XO

P.S. Kylie's two comments below!!! Didn't realize that. See that shoulder? I know, it looks like a boob!

just bob said...

I'm always around, like eggshell white... in the background.

Suzanne said...

Finds Bob in background and kisses him to bits.

Hi Bob. What? Hard f****** day. I'm going to change my name to Miles McClagan. What?!

Attila the Mom said...

Bravo!! Bravo!!

Paddy in BA (Quickroute) said...

Well he certainly made an ass of himself