A little over a year ago, I got a letter stuck in my door jam by the property management company. For those who have lived or do live in apartments, you know this is never good news. Anyway, the letter indicated that the company's insurance carrier would no longer allow tenants to have charcoal grills on their patios. Being a guy, I like to cook over an open flame so I was bothered that I was going to have to store the Weber Kettle. In the letter, they did indicate propane gas grills would be ok with a fire extinguisher. So off to Lowe's I went and bought the grill, extinguisher and accessories.
Thursday night there was another letter. This one, with attached documentation, was a notice informing me that the City has passed a law banning charcoal AND gas grills from apartment complex patios without sprinkler systems. I now have 30-days to remove my gas grill or face eviction. One of the few things I enjoy doing that I can still afford is now being taken away from me. Happy Effing Weekend. What's next? Are they going to outlaw microwaves, toasters, waffle irons, George Foreman grills? How about candles, curling irons, smoking or any other activity that may involve a risk of fire?
I have relatively good health and my mother & brother are well. I still have a job, a roof over my head and non-grilled food in my stomach, so in the grand scheme of things a silly grill is not very important. I'm a lot luckier than many people these days, so I feel guilty whining about it. But if they try to outlaw my coffee pot, there's going to be trouble. I will be in the news.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
What's next?
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39 comments:
that's aweful.
i never really had a balcony or a patio, so BBQ sessions involved going to the beach and/or park in designated areas.
or if i was lazy, I'd just head to a BBQ place.
Happy Birthday, Boy Behind Bars! ;)
(Try two...must not have passed wv.)
There's too much wrong with taking away the sheer joy of grilled food to even attempt to comment.
I'm so sorry.
It is unfortunately one of those things where it's ONE dumbass who ruins it for the rest of us. One idiot who burns down one apartment by being an idiot.
I wasn't allowed to have a grill either.
I rent private homes now. (well, I will when I get into one)
Apartment (gestapo) living is definitely NOT for me.
I feel your pain. I lived in an apartment for one year. I told them that with all the restrictions you'd think they'd have so f'ing soundproofing so I couldn't hear the herd of elephants upstairs. Holy shit. Never again.
Happy Birthday?
Are you on Facebook? ADD ME!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Hi Bob!
Hi Karen!
Hi Merelyme!
Hi Mars!
Hi Ree!
Damn rules. ;)
That sucks, bob. Are you going to grill every day until the deadline?
Mars... life without a grill isn't ideal, but I'll survive (maybe)
MerelyMe... nice try
Ree... Life is a little less tasty without the charred edges
Karen... I'm sure you'll be in a home of your own soon, elephant herd free.
Karen... the group is trying to find out my birth date. Thus far with no luck. I've resisted the urge to Facebook up to now, we'll see how long it lasts.
Blottie... Hi there!
Megan... No grilling tonight, just steady rain. Maybe Monday will be better.
Hi baby.
The Wedding Planner!
You know you have to be honest.
The 15th.
hey that's a bummer.
I'd have thought candles would be the greater risk.
can you ask your landlord to put in sprinklers?
health and safety huh?
Before arriving I decided to learn a bit more about Taurus. Here's the most memorable quote: "Taurus has a tendency to get in a self-centered rut." Honey, are you laughing as hard as I am? Please say yes!!! That's funny! And to think, Cece had the nerve to tell me this stuff is only "half true." What a little party pooper. Where's that little chicken neck by the way?
Happy Monday.
XO
Happy Birthday Bob!
I am a woman of my word...I will continue this through each Taurus day until we all are able to celebrate "The Essence of Bobness"!!! :)
It is getting a little difficult as we are in the "thick of things" with "stuff". Busy busy. But everyone is and I am glad to know your aquaintance and that of your fellow followers (good people).
Maybe I am just totally selfish and want cupcakes!!! Happy Birthday...anyway!
I say go with your facebook urges.
DRINK THE COOLAID!!!
Um... I'm a Taurus, and my birthday is May 4th. Are you a Taurus, Bob? Then why is everyone saying happy birthday in February?
Karen... I am a Taurus and not really sure why I'm getting the greetings in February.
Happy Birthday Bob!
Hey, Bob... At least give us whether your birthday is late April or in May. Ok? Then I'll stop bugging you.
Wouldn't it be funny if we shared the same birthday?
Hey Bob,
I have a tabletop smokeless grill that operates off of chaffing fuel. You can buy the cans of chaffing fuel in the camping section at most Wal-Mart stores, or any other department store for that matter. It may be a sensible alternative to going postal on your landlord and local government! Have a great day!
Cece... I'll have to look that up. I'd rather not be homeless or in jail for enjoying a grilled hamburger.
Karen... It is not May 4th. That's the only clue you get for now.
CINCO DE MAYO!!!!!! Oh, boy. that was my ex husband's birthday. The day after mine. Sorry for your luck, bob. 21
That sucks Bob, and you do have a right to complain. I think you and some of your fellow tenants should get together in the parking lot and have a huge bbq party.
Mr. Shife... it's a City law. Perhaps a huge BBQ at City Hall is in order for all of us lowly apartment dwellers.
Is your birthday in April or May? That might help us out at the Onion. I know it has to fall between April 20-May 25ish for you to be a Taurus. I suppose we could just have a whole month long celebration at the Onion for you. That way we would be sure to party on the right day. It's either that or you tell us your birthday. And yes, it is a promise, not a threat!!!!!
Happy Birthday!! (that is so funny!!!)
Anywho, I saw grill in the dadgum parking lot and invite the neighbors. Oh, and check out the electric grills - I used to have one and it worked great.
Check this one out:
http://www.americansale.com/store/item.asp?ITEM_ID=65438&DEPARTMENT_ID=2045
It's a bit pricey but you see where I'm going with this....
Cece... it would be safe to assume that it is not in April.
Goob... that grill looks great. I'm afraid of buying even an electric grill for fear that would be outlawed too.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOB!!!
See how Cece tried to get in there and weasle that date right out of you? Now that's funny. You know Merelyme and Karen are laughing their asses off. "Hey Cece...the line forms to the rear."
Bob, what's for lunch? I'm starving (marinated veggies on the grill please with some crusty bread and herb goat cheese ~ thanks).
We have Kylie's and Karen's birthday too, so I say lets just start early. Rather than try to fit everyone in over a short span of time we should relax, enjoy the ride and get to know our Taurusesssesssus'essessus'.
Let me begin with a fact: "No other sign in the Zodiac is closer to earth than Taurus..." Hey, I'm a gardener! I'm down in the dirt. How much closer can a Leo get?! Bob, are you a gardener? No! Okay, so I guess Cece is right about that 50% crap. Next.
Happy Birthday Kylie!
Happy Birthday Karen!
I dare you all...50 Taurus facts.
XO ;)
Hi Bob!
P.S. Love this comment page. What a hoot.
Okay, now my husband is going to know how strange I am. Spreadsheets all over the living room, dates crossed off, question marks...(scratching head, when the heck could bob's birthday be?)
Answer Karen's question Bob! Is your Birthday on Cinco De Mayo?!!?
:)
Okay, that's just too damn funny.
;)
Merelyme... you may need to call in scientists from MIT or Harvard to unravel all of the data, charts, and notes that you've assembled.
Hi Suzanne!
Okay, so I'm guessing that a birthday is a coming or has passed. Happy Birthday to you.
Regarding the grill, since Spring is around the corner, I'd say make a break for the beach with your grill in tow. It's a great way to make new friends. If you feed em' they will come.
B
Hi baby. Yes, I read it. I love you. You know I'm going to have to advertize, don't you. Look at poor Merelyeme, just aching for the answer. Bob? How can I leave her like that?!!! I can't. I adore her! Okay, I'll give you 24 hours to buck up and prepare for the onslaught. Oh trust me honey, it's coming! Look, even CSI's here and I swear to God, I don't think that man ever gets out. Life is good.
I love you, and thanks!
Me XO
This birthday conundrum has us all in a tizzy!
I can't stand rules for the sake of rules, and I hate to think that you're being deprived of something you love. Absolutely infuriating.
OK, since he won't budge on the actual date, I have officially kicked off the approximate 3 month celebration for Bob's birthday over at The Wild Onion. So everyone go over and wish him a Happy Day!!! I told you it was coming. You should listen to me from now on and do as I say!!!
....The King's birthday is Cinco de Mayo, good as any reason to celebrate, don't you think? Cece, can we celebrae Bob's birthday twice?
I'd start a bonfire everynight to cook your hot dogs. See how much property mgt. misses the grill then.
Cece just pointed out you're an Aries. Did you realize that?
happy birthday bob!
Yes, I remember my grill being banned... sucked.
Now, I couldn't do without my grill. In 25 degree dampness outside, I have already started my grilling season which will last until Christmas!
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