They are not hand made...
You, yes YOU can be the proud owner of your own pair of genuine lobster socks. Straight from Quincy Market, the chance to own this beautiful pair of "Bite Me" lobster socks is now being offered to the faithful readers of The Essence of Bobness. You know I wear lobster socks... so now you have the chance to be just like me (except better looking).
So Let's Make A Deal. Tell me what having these socks would mean to you. Is it some sad story about growing up without socks? Is it an undying adoration of crustaceans that would be fulfilled if you had these socks? Is it some foot fetish that compels you? Is it as simple as you want them because you never win anything? Be creative, be funny, be crude, be yourself.
Add your submission as a comment to this post. You can enter as many as you want, but I will pair (get it, pair=pare) down the list to the best three and allow everyone to vote. Just like Monty Hall... you'll have three choice except you'll know what's behind the door. You have until 11:59pm Eastern Time on Friday (8:59pm Pacific Time and I have no freakin' clue what time or day in Sydney, Australia) to submit your stories. I'll read them all and post the poll on my sidebar sometime Saturday.
Ready... set.... write!!!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Who wants some of this?
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41 comments:
I feel too guilty to enter...but I will be back to see what others have written...hilarious!
Well..let me just say this...I deserve them! I have eaten at least through a 1/4 of the ocean's population of crustians, I have attended more crab feeds than probably anyone else...all in the name of charity!
I used to work at Red Lobester so I know I served half the worlds population it's share of that beautiful red, tender tail just waiting to be dipped in warm, melted butter! And because I worked there...I have partaked in my fair share as well!
What can I say 'Just Bob' just adore that 'yummy in my tummy' creature! And to bestowed with some socks to cover some cold footsies, well all the better! I will wear them proudly!
Great idea by the way! How fun!
i need them because they say bite me!
what other reason could there be?
"Bite me" is one of those phrases that I can never bring myself to say, although I have thought it many, many times.
If I was wearing those socks, I could just wiggle my toes at the bastards!
I am allergic to shellfish. This is as close as I will probably ever get to a lobster.
I'll think some more and be back tomorrow...
why should i get them? because sending something to dubai is totally cool - and plus my birthday is coming up!!! :)
plus i get very 'crabby' (somehow 'lobby' or 'lobstery' sounds odd) and if anybody annoys me, I'll just lift my leg and show - bite me!
Blottie's here. Move over everybody because I'm going to win this pair of socks if it's the last think I ever do. Here's why:
1. Leah's out. (Thank God!)
2. Robyn's out because she worked at Red Lobster, but spelled "Lobester" wrong. However, she's cute. She's my greatest competition.
3. Kylie's out cuz she's just a sarcastic smart ass. Oh, and also because she lives in Australia.
4. Megan's out because she's too gentle to say "Bite me." Here bite this. "Bye~bye baby."
5. Media Junkie is out because she's living in Dubai which means she can afford to buy her own damn lobster socks.
6. Okay, Blottie wins!
Here's why:
1. I've never won a damn thing. Was nominated many times, but nope, didn't win.
2. I look good in socks. Hell, I look good in most anything! Hell, I look good in nothing!!!! I promise to photograph myself naked in these socks. Sorry, you will only see my feet, but trust me, I'll be naked. Use your imagination.
3. I like red. However, I'll be honest, not as much as pink, so I'll probably bleach them.
4. I clicked on the "Market." Did anyone else do that? Probably not. Love the architecture. Love the vibe. I deserve to win just for taking the time to click a link.
5. I'm a vegetarian and wouldn't eat a darling lobster. As I write this I'm looking at Robyn's beautiful face, aka, Lobster Killer.
6. Oh, almost forgot to mention, I'm from the East Coast!!!
7. I'm Blottie.
XO
p.s. 8. I'm the only one who tried this hard!
Love you Bob! 9. Did anyone else say that? No. Just me. I'm preparing an email with my address as I speak. Thanks in advance.
:)
I believe that should have been "thing!"
Happy Birthday Bob!
Leah HAS to enter! All the other comments are a riot.
My feet were very crustacean-like before you made me get a pedicure. I already de-crusted them again last night. A lady's job is never done!
i wasnt being sarcastic!
i'm trying to ...............
ah, look, never mind
do you want a naked pic without the socks??
Yes Kylie, I do!!!!!
It was a beautiful blue day at the bottom of the sea. CC The Puffer fish was swimming through the coral and anemones, singing happily as she searched for food. "What do I want to eat today? I know, I’m hungry for Lobster." CC began searching the seabed for the luscious crustacean. Alas, she spotted one. She darted down toward the unsuspecting lobster and quickly found herself clasped within it’s pinchers.
“Ouch,” squealed CC the Puffer Fish! “Let me go, let me go!” But the Vicious Lobster held fast.
“What the hell do you think you were doing Puffer?”
“I was trying to have some lunch.”
“Lunch? You mean to tell me you were going to eat me for lunch?”
“I was going to try. But then you trapped me here between your pinchers. Now I seem to have lost my appetite for lobster.”
“You wouldn’t want to eat me anyway,” said the Lobster. “I am old and tough, and my tail would taste horrible without Land O Lakes butter. What you need for lunch is a nice tasty Clown Fish. Here, let’s see if we can find Nemo.”
The old Lobster released CC from his pinchers, and begain scanning the sea for clown fish. Quickly, CC swam in circles checking each of her fins to see if they still worked.
“They all still work,” she said excitedly. “Thank you Mr. Lobster, thank you for releasing me. I promise I will never try to eat you again.”
“Call me Bob, my sweet little Puffer, and what shall I call you?”
“Oh my name is CC.”
“Well my darling, CC, now you must be on your way. You still have some lunch to catch.”
CC frowned, “Yes, I suppose I do, but I have suddenly grown fond of you. I must find something to remember you by.”
Bob the Lobster gave a broad grin. “I have just the thing.” He swam under his rock house and came back out holding a nice pair of socks. The sock were ornate with miniature lobster’s just like Bob.
“Here my darling Puffer. You can have these marvelous lobster socks. And every time you wear them, you may think of me and remember, that Lobster tail tastes best with Land o Lakes butter. “
“Why thank you kind sir. I shall take those socks and cherish them always.”
CC slipped the socks onto each of her fins and swam off to find Nemo for lunch.
Bob waved goodbye with his pinchers until she was out of sight.
Now that's what I'm talking about Cece. CREATIVITY people!!!!
I was on a three-way call with Giggle and Cece. I'm the one who encouraged Cece to come here. Now I regret the hell out of it. What a bitch. She's gonna win. We all read this together. What a bitch. Bob. Leave me alone. Okay. Cece wins. Leave me alone. *Walks off and sulks.*
I asked Cece to share the socks. She laughed. I guess that's a no.
She deserves the socks.
Oh come on now Blottie, don't give up so easily. I'm sure you can create something sock-worthy too. I have tremendous confidence in your abilities. You can do it!!!!!!
...I covet the socks...
OH MY GOD. Cece totally deserves the socks.
But please do take this email as my entry.
I like 'em because they say "bite me".
I love me some feisty lobster socks. Brilliant.
CC swam along peacefully thinking fond memories of Bob the Lobster. When suddenly, out of nowhere a giant Lionfish swooped in and stole her Lobster Socks. "Oh my," CC cried. "Come back here you evil lionfish. Come back here with my socks!" The Evil Lionfish laughed a most meniacing laugh. "You will never see the socks again! They are mine, mine, mine." CC furiously swam after to Lionfish. "Come back here you big bully. Come back and give me my socks back." "Never," shouted the Lionfish. The lionfish swam right into a big dark cave. CC blindly followed her inside. Suddenly out of the darkness, CC hear a blood curdling scream. "Help Me! Help me, I"m trapped. Oh Please, Somebody, Anybody, Help ME!" It was the voice of the lionfish. "Lionfish, where are you," CC yelled. "I'm just ahead of you toward the back of the cave. I seem to be caught in some giant claw." Suddenly an electric eel swam by and the whole cave was lit up by it's electrical glow. CC peered toward the back of the cave and began to chuckle when she saw what had captured the Lionfish. "Bob", CC exclaimed. "Hello, my dear little Puffer. I see you have met the Ocean riff-raff," "Yes, I was swimming along minding my own business and this bully just stole my socks right off of my fins." Bob frowned at the Lionfish. "Now that was not very nice, was it." "I don't care," shouted the Lionfish. "I wanted those sock, so bad. I was willing to do anything for those socks." Bob the Lobster sternly looked at the Lionfish. "What is your name, little one?" "My name is Suzanne," stated the Lionfish. "And I really, really, want these socks." "Well, I'm sorry," said Bob. "But these socks already belong to CC. Perhaps you will have better luck with the next pair of socks that I give away." Suzanne was very sad. Reluctantly, she gave the socks back to CC. "Could you at least share them with me?" she asked. "Sure I can share them with you, but only on one condition." "What's that?" "You have to be my friend too." Suzanne looked bewildered. "That's it? That's all I have to do in order to share the socks with you?" "Yep, that's all." A sly grin slid over Suzanne's face. "This is going to be easy. It's like taking booties from a baby." Bob the Lobster frowned, "I think that may have been a poor choice of words, Suzanne." "Oh, yeah right. Come on CC, let's go find some lunch. I think I saw Nemo swimming near the anemonies. You like clown fish don't you?" CC and Suzanne swam off into the sunset. Each of them had a lobster sock on one fin.
HA! Me, Gig, and Suze were having a three way. I bet you guys are so jealous.
Sorry, Blottie, you are lobster-bait. Damn, Cece! You are amazing!
I love the socks, but really covet the lobster slippers...
I think Cece has the makings of a new book...The Tale of the Lobster Socks!!
Thanks Bob, I have not had so much fun in awhile!!
Let's just put it this way; If I don't win those socks, I'm gonna move next door to you and park junk cars on my lawn.
bite me
Does this fetish with lobsters allow us to say, "Happy Birthday Lobby?"
I quit. I bet Cece gets the socks!
I think Bob and I are dissapointed that you guys aren't trying any harder than this. But Leah, please don't try. I know you would beat me hands down. You are a way better writer than I.
Oh and thanks every one for the compliments. They really made me feel good about myself. I appreciate you guys soooooo much!
Hi Cece! What a WONDERFUL, creative story. Beautiful and thank you honey. You win!!! Don't worry, I've had Severus tie Leah to a chair at the Wild Onion so she won't be able to submit a masterpiece at the last minute. She seems to be enjoying herself. She's a wacky broad around Severus. Let's hope he remembers to feed her. *Starts making oatmeal just in case.*
I haven't had the internet since yesterday and today Comcast was kind enough to fix my "connectivity problem" (too bad they can't fix my personal problems so easily!). Life without the internet is just awful and so is life without my Blogging Buddies! I've realized I can never leave Blogger Land because the loss of all of you would be too great. You're stuck with me.
Bob, Bob, Bob. I love you so much, but I'm not a writer, I'm an artist. What takes Cece a few minutes to write would take me days. Please don't be disappointed. Okay, here, I'll try. I'll talk about something I know best.
"The hardest part of garden making is the very beginning." Ann Lovejoy's first sentence in "A Year Along The Garden Path. I'll always remember the sentence because it's the honest to God truth. You plan, you toil, you indure back pain, sore muscles, sunburn, blisters and bug bites, but with every plant that survives and grows and with every worm you cradle and gently placed back in the soil, every dragon fly, hummingbird, mouse, kitty and bee who visits, with every year that passes, you grow with your garden.
Nature is a thing of beauty and when a garden you've planned and planted grows up all around you, you feel humbled because it's magical. And if you keep planning and planting, before you know it you see life differently than most. You protect the smallest insect from harm, you move a snail to the neighbor's yard rather than kill it (!), you take good care of your soil, you underplant to protect roots and retain moisture. With the years come knowledge. You become a gardian of Mother Earth and in doing so, you become a better person. All because in the beginning you did the hardest thing, you planned and planted a garden.
~~
Okay Bob, that's the best I can do on short notice. Wish me luck with "March Madness!" I may just make the top three if some unknown doesn't dribble all over me. Unfortunately it's more suited to a gardening magazine than a writing contest, but work with me brotha. And yes, don't rub it in, my writing sucks, but if I untie Leah, maybe she'll help with editing.
XO Blottie
Yes, I know. "Guardian." Just a typo, not a spelling error.
Perhaps Lobster shells make good fertilizer for the garden, therefore, Blottie needs Lobster Socks that reads, "Bite Me!"
Lobster shells would work, but I think the red might clash with pink and honestly darling, I think I'd feel so guilty everytime I crushed one underfoot or T-Bone had to root around in them for a tennis ball! Ouch! Let's all go to the ocean for the day and collect seaweed!!! It's the greatest fertilizer in the world and all you have to do is gather it from the sand and spread it around your garden. Seriously. Anyone living near the ocean has free fertilizer. I don't think most realize it!
And no my darling Cece, you deserve lobster socks that read "Bite Me." Here's why. You're a creative writer. You take us on a journey and do it brilliantly. You have a vivid imagination and never hesitate to share it. Those socks are yours girlie if no one sinks a 3-pointer in the next few hours. I think you're safe because Kylie's sleepin', Leah's tied up (literally), Megan's doin' what ever the hell it is Megan does, Karen's stuffin' her face with pizza, Robyn's just hangin' around looking pretty, CSI's parkin' cars, Media Junkie's playin' in the sand, Merelyme's plannin' a birthday party and Giggie's workin' her ass to the bone caring for Hubby and Mommy. See, you're safe. I'm your only competion and we both know you could literally kick my ass in more ways than one!!! Bob's no fool baby!!! Good luck.
The Lionfish
P.S. You called me a "Bully." I am NOT A BULLY!!! Take it back or a swear to God I'll kick your ass.
I toiled across a continent and arranged to have the fence removed.
Therefore, I win.
Besides, you are suddenly gagging from the unexpected love-fest between Suzanne and Cece. And you will not stand idly as they audaciously declare the winner of your very own competition.
I win.
Right, Bob?
Um...I removed the fence.
Single-Handedly,
Sit back and enjoy as one of us wins. Bob loves the hell out of us and was looking for a story, and honey, removing the fence doesn't qualify you for the lobster socks. Did you read the rules!!!!! You're too damn funny. You officially don't qualify. Bob, he/she doesn't qualify, right? The rules are clear...you have to write a story. Get crackin'. You don't have much time left. I think the deadline's midnight.
And yes, you're right. Cece and I are "Love-Festing." That's because we know one of us is probably going to win. We read the rules!!! Good luck with that baby! Frankly, I don't even know how Bob's going to come up with #3? You're slackin'. Make an effort!
XO!
Bob, sweetie, honey, sugar-pie. Are you gagging? Here, I have some Halls. That should help.
With much love,
You're Darling Blottie. (Yes, I call out the big gun when necessary.) (Hey, I followed the freakin' rules.)
I just realized, that's Kylie, isn't it? You little bitch!!! I left Bob's blog, but could still hear your voice. It's you. You little bitch. Okay. Payback. I can hardly wait. You have two choices: Write or lose.
XO ;)
Not much time left...you better hurry.
i wish it was me but it wasnt
all i can say is bite me
someone
anyone
bite me
The deadline for the contest has now passed.
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