I get very torn at times. This is the view outside my window this sunny Sunday afternoon. The mobile home has been parked in the same place for at least two weeks, possibly more as I haven't kept track. I truly do feel sorry for this couple. I have no idea how they came to be in this circumstance, but living your life out of an old travel trailer begging for money is tragic. It hurts me that people have to live this way, seeking the charity of others to eek out the most basic of existences. The other morning he was actually outside sweeping the sidewalk near the trailer like it had become his own backyard. It was so sad.
Then, on the other hand, I don't want this thing parked in front of my home. I don't want people panhandling and begging right outside my very window. A public street it not a mobile home park. What kind of neighborhood is this becoming if this is allowed to continue? What if other wanderers hear about this and bring in their campers? Recently the windshield had one of those bright neon orange stickers on it, so the police are aware of its presence. Why don't they do anything about it? There has to be some sort of zoning laws or codes that prohibit people from just wheeling up one day and setting up camp in a residential neighborhood.
So there lies the paradox. I have pity for these people, but I don't want them here. Do I not say anything as they try to survive, or report them to the police to get them out of the neighborhood? I wish people didn't have to live like this, but I also wish they had not picked my block to do it. Should I be selfish, or selfless?
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Paradox
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
32 comments:
It's a meth lab!!! Have you seen Breaking Bad?!
On a serious note...yeah... I would be torn too :( poor people. But what did they do to get into that position?
Wouldn't bother me one bit. Sweeping the sidewalk? I'd love a neighbor that did that.
I've gotta say...I just recently called the cops on a homeless guy with his gigantic cart in front of my house (I posted about it). I think it's a "broken windows" thing--there are many other, probably legal, places for them to be.
But then I'm pretty hardcore keeping the area around my house safe.
I did send in an email to the police department and they stopped by today. They spoke with the couple and slapped another orange notice on the window. I don't know what will happen, but I felt kind of guilty watching it all go down outside my window.
You know me, and what I do with animals and the homeless, so this is an interesting question.
Obviously something's wrong with the vehicle otherwise they'd move it. I doubt very much they want to be parked on the street. It hurts my heart they're there. On the other hand would I want them parked across from my house? No, of course not. My approach is probably very different than yours because I'm aware of two things.
#1 Shit happens. In every neighborhood all across America. But it's how you react that makes a difference.
and
#2 You can make a difference with a bit of effort. What's preventing you from simply walking across the street, introducing yourself and asking what's wrong and what you can do to help? Just talking to them makes a difference. They aren't aliens, they're two people experiencing hard times. And they have a story if you just take a moment to listen. It's actually that simple and most people don't realize it. Getting involved isn't painful, it's meanful. It will change your life. Bob, just the simple act of caring about something's or someone's pain other than your own is mind bendingly life altering. Making a difference, making and effort will change you. Your heart changes, your attitude changes.
Every community has resources to help homeless and those in need. Bob, you organize huge events, deal with so many people and issues, so you know how to get the job done, get on the horn and make a difference, so why not use those same skills to solve this? Yes it's effort and time, but so? It's a worthy goal and it will nourish your soul. Trust me.
And no, the police are not the solution. They're the jump off point. Call them, explain your problem and ask for help. Ask for resources, organizations, etc. Yes, the police can fine and impound the vehicle, but is that what you really want for a family already struggling? More stress and both of them either on the streets or in jail? And if they have a pet, what happens to it? That's the reality Bob. And that's what often happens because people don't want people like them around. You just have to decide whether or not to help. Most people aren't up to the challenge and simply report then just walk away. Caring takes effort, blood, sweat and tears. And it should. It should matter. It should change you.
And Bob, anyone who would take the time to sweep the sidewalk cares deeply about their home and life, even if they're in an RV parked on a city street.
One of our blogging friends has no tolerance for the homeless and those less fortunate and wrote a distastful post about his intolerance. I remember wanting to kill him, but said nothing. I've never forgotten his words because they revealed his soul. I know you're a better person and if you need advice or assistance please don't hesitate to call me or Rob. Bindi is safe today because we didn't look the other way and as a lawyer Rob knew the the police department would direct him, and they did. It just take a wee bit of effort to change someone's life, and a phone call. Or maybe 20! 50!!! I don't remember.
I love you so. Beautiful, thoughtful post.
XO
I was actually first, but wrote more than 4,000 words, Blogger scolded me and wouldn't let me post. Screw um. Rob arrived, I was exhausted, fell asleep, woke up, it was still here, so I edited. Abi arrived while I was asleep!!! Now I see Megan has arrived while I was editing!!! God I love those two. Both shared wonderful thoughts and Megan cracked me up. The woman is just damn funny. I'm so glad you're going to marry her because I'm just too complicated. Yes, I know all my fault!!! You don't have to rub them in!
It's so funny because I haven't been to my blog. I have limited time and come here to make sure you're okay before going over there. Bob, straighten your ass out because I really need to attend to my blog. I haven't been there in days! Oh, and "straighten your ass out" comes directly from my mom. I heard the phrase more than once as a teenager. Just guessing...maybe a hundred times!!!??? How rude.
;)
Blottie!
Hummmmmmmmm, just read your comment and Leah's. Mine seems very out of place here. I obviously look at life so differently. How do either of you expect them to pay the fines? Do you understand the hardship that imposes on people already in such a stressful situation? What did either of you do to find a solution?
I'm glad I'm me. I love you both so very, very much, but I'm so grateful I'm me because I would hate to look the other way. I have to go because I'm crying. The question I will leave you with is "what if it was you?"
Suzanne, I actually agree with you. I was thinking about this last night. What, don't look so shocked!
They sweep the sidewalk!!
I would introduce myself and see what I could do while my husband was inwardly shouting 'nooooo you're such a sucker for a sob story' :)
But yes, I would. I would talk to them. I wouldn't offer them money though, we don't have any to spare, maybe a nice cup of tea. I'm English :P
No matter what stupid ass thing they did to get into the position of living out of a possibly broken RV, everyone deserves a kind word and sometimes (I know from experience) sometimes those kind words, those tiny gestures, are the one chink of light you can think back on when its over, when you're looking back at the worst times of your life.
After saying that I do see your point of view Bob, I really do. There is always the hope that the authorities will help them out somehow.... you can always hope they might.
I've gotta go to bed. I'm exhausted, but Abi, thanks for your support. It matters. Often times so little effort makes a HUGE difference. You know it's sweet your husband would worry, but to be honest, so often homeless or those in need are no different than you or me. I only had one problem at the park where I feed ferals and it had nothing to do with homeless. The homeless actually look out for me and make sure I'm safe. I've learned so much over the past few years about life. As challenging as it's been at times, it's also been the most rewarding aspect of my life. I wouldn't change a single thing.
Abi, it's wonderful to know and talk to you. It's just so lovely. Thank you.
XO
I am just more hard-headed about it, I guess, & I have Hedgie to protect. People can be dangerous--the reality is that most people in that situation are either chemically dependent or mentally ill, sometimes in ways that a layperson can't recognize, & therefore unpredictable. That's just the cold, hard facts of it.
I have close friends who work with homeless services, who are caring people just like I am--& let me tell you, they are very honest about what is the hardcore truth of the population they work with. They do not romanticize it--& believe me, the hardcore truth is what I just said above.
Yes, there are exceptions to every rule but the general thing to keep in mind is the unpredictable nature.
And by the way, calling the police is indeed an excellent solution, at least here in NYC--they are the reference point for all social services, & they certainly don't just give out tickets to bums & walk away!
All I can say is talk to a cop or a homeless services worker or a social worker or even just an addiction specialist, & you'll get the real, live, low-down scoop on it--sense of humor & cynical compassion
(yes, it's not an oxymoron in the world of those who work in the trenches all day every day!) thrown in for free!
street-smart Brooklyn girl signing off--
interesting question
the bleeding heart in me says to remember it could be me, to give them a hand or at least not be hostile but at the same time, there are no homeless people in my street, there never have been so i'm not really qualified..........
another example of kylie sitting on the fence i'm afraid :)
I'd ask them to back up about 20 feet so the tree blocked them from my sight.
After saying I would give them a cup of tea, it would be an *outside my house* cup of tea.... I have kiddies too to protect, like Hedgehog...
I've known a lot of not homeless people who are mentally ill or addicts and dangerous.. Never mind homeless ones!
Interesting. Very interesting.
I have experience with this, Bob.
Where I work, homeless people approach me in the parking lot on just about a weekly basis. I always keep about three or four dollars on me so that I can at least buy them breakfast, or perhaps a cheap bottle of wine or two (most likely they opt for the wine). But I always feel as if I need to give them a little something because you never know who is telling the truth and who isn't. The Security gaurds scold me for giving them money all the time. They tell me that word gets around in their world, and soon they will be looking for me. I also have the experience with "Crazy Neighbor". Talk about a charity case...... I really do think you should go and talk to them. Find out what they need and see if there is a way to help them out. Maybe even take them a bacon egg and cheese biscut from McDonalds. Their cheap and I bet the couple would be greatfull. You don't necessarily have to give them money, and definately don't let them know which appartment you live in. You have to be careful and not get yourself in too deep. You also need to be able to recognize when you are being taken advantage of. And finally, you have to know when there is no chance of fixing those who are broken. Sometimes, not everyone is fixable. But no matter what you do, make sure that is a decision you feel good about.
What merelyme said--this is pretty darn interesting.
Hope you're doing good Bob!
Leah, I do totally see your point.
Just Bob that is quite the paradox. I can see both sides and I am kind of torn too. Boy way to commit Mr. Shife. Part of me would leave them be because of the whole karma thing and cosmic justice stuff that I believe in but then again you are entitled to certain things since you live there and it is your neighborhood. I don't know Bob. Hopefully it will work itself out and you can remain neutral. And you can go ahead and delete this comment because it offered no helpful advice at all.
Bob wrote an email to me. Absolutely beautiful. You all know me an emails. I rarely look!!! I'm so grateful I did because his comment was just too precious. He doesn't always say what he means to me on his blog, but does in an email. Bob is a gem of a guy. I could just hug him forever, but can't get around his new belly!! I want to ask, "When's the due date?"
I have over 300 emails. If you wrote I'll get to you in a year or so! Oh, and those 300 piled up in about a week, so good luck!!! And Bindi, when then hell did I Twitter? Apparently Bindi is following my Twitter and so are others. I blame this completely on Leah. Completely. I didn't even know I was Twittering until Twitter alerted me. Hummmmmmmmm. I'm not amused. You now all know my full name and my email address. I am SO NOT AMUSED. What's next? My address? I am so not amused. I got on Twitter to read Leah's Twitter, not realizing all the info I gave became my own Twitter. Look at me. No, really, look at me. Do I look amused? No. I'm not. Apparently I have followers beside Bindi. I just can't get to them right now because Twitter is experiencing "technical difficulty." My luck. God please don't screw with me. Please! There aren't enough hours in my day for more stupid.
Oh, my darling Leah. Trust me. I have thoughts. I'll be back. I'm just trying desperately to play clean up.
And Mr. Shife. Delete? You nutty??? No one deletes a Mr. Shife. Ever.
XO
Oh...and just so you all know...Bob needs some "ME TIME," so I'm going to bring in pink, kitties, flowers and car talk. No, I'm not kidding. Get ready.
Leah, I just wrote to you over on M & M and realize I should probably put it here.
I love you to death. Nothing has changed. We disagree and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I know you understand. I love you darling.
XO
Bob, don't hate me because I'm a lunatic.
And let me instead of all that just say:
Hi Bob!
Leah! What did you say? Don't delete!!!! You're better than me. You aren't a deleter. I am. I didn't get to read what you wrote and now will never know how pissed you were. I love your thoughs and your words...all your really big words, and you just left me hangin'. I don't think that's fair hon, so I deleted my comments it. You know, in solidaridy.
Leah, we're two woman with some very different ideas and approaches to life, and that's perfectly okay. There's nothing wrong with that and I never want you to feel that you have to hold back. I respect you so much, not only as a woman, but as a person and a friend, and really value your opinion. You won't always change my mind, but you make me think really, really hard and I appreciate that more than you know. I don't want you to ever feel you have to delete. Ever. That just makes me feel horrible.
Leah, look at me. I love you and you know that. If I hurt or offended you, I'm so sorry. You're so much smarter than me and you can REALLY write, so I'm sure you riped me a new one!!! Good. But unfortunately I didn't even get to read about the new asshole I got!!!! Baby, what I do is hard every day and I'm very protective of it. Do I always explain it perfectly or write as eloquently as you? NO HONEY, I DON'T. You know me!!! I write like crap and have a very narrow vocabulary. But you know that, so you have to take that into consideration and cut me some slack. However, Leah, I really do feel deeply about giving and making an effort. That's who I am and I can't change that aspect of my personality. I wish with all my heart that 7 out of 10 people would make an effort rather than buy Crest toothpaste. The world would be a better place, but that's a dream, so I get testy at times. Please forgive me. I apologize.
Baby, I love you and I have to believe you know that after all these years and all this time. But I want you to think about something. Over the next 30-50 years you and I are going disagree on a whole lotta shit. It's okay. Please don't ever delete again. Your words matter to me. Your opinions matter to me. I love you like a sister and I argue with my sisters all the time. We're all different and that's okay. I love you very much.
Bob ~ Don't hate me because I'm lunatic #2 (but I'm Blottie #1...that has to count).
And let me instead of all that just say...
IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE!!!!
:)
Knock knock. "Do you have any Thin Mints in there?"
Wow, the comments keep disappearing. Maybe I should call CSI Seattle to conduct an investigation of the missing comments.
Who stole my damn comments??? (I see I left one behind accidently.) Hummmmmmmmmm. I need a mint and a beverage. Ahhhhhhhhhhh...women. Fickle little devils, aren't they?!
Bob, you started it. No Suzanne, you started it. No Leah, you started it. Remember when we were all kids and had stupid kid fights and mom or dad would ask "OKAY, WHO STARTED IT?" Classic stupid question because fingers started flying every where!!! Of course it was NEVER YOU. It was HER. HIM. THEM. Please. Yes, I am an expert in this area of family law (Hummmmmmm...I'm a lawyer now? When the hell'd I have time to get that degree?) Honestly, it's Bob. And then it's Leah. Cutie-Pie Suzy takes up the rear. What? I know noooooooothing.
Try to just find a way to live with it maybe? Have they become a nuisance? do they press you for money as you drive by? If not, then it must be possible to coexist with those less fortunate. If it weren't for a different circumstance last year, I might have been living under a bridge.
I would have wished for an old travel trailer to live in. At least he sweeps the sidewalk.
I fear we will see way more of this before these hard times are over. It greatly saddens me.
As long as these panhandlers don't harass me, which is bordering on robbery as far as I'm concerned, then they don't bother me. I've even bought them a meal from McDonald's from time to time, but I don't give them cash simply because I don't have enough, and my kids come before they do.
And my kitties, of course.
Hi Bob. I found you through Abi's blog.
Anyways, I vote be selfless.
I'd go check them out. Give them some groceries and try to decide if they are decent people or drug addicts. Maybe they are in the middle of a road trip and are taking a two-week break. It would make you feel better if you had some questions answered, I think.
If they seem like total druggies, then I think that helps you know what your position should be on the matter: get 'em gone. But if they are nice folk, then I don't really see the harm in it. I doubt they have a bunch of friends with campers too who are waiting down the street.
At the very least, aren't they entertaining? Assuming they won't rob you house, spray paint the neighborhood trees, or throw loud parties, they seem pretty harmless.
Post a Comment