Sunday, May 31, 2009

Bananas...

Bananas, bananas,
the magical fruit.
The more you eat,
The more your toot.
~
What? I often forget I have this forum. Don't look at me mister. You created this nightmare.

;)

28 comments:

Megan said...

Omigod Blottie you are incorrigible. I mean that in the best possible way.

Suzanne said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Just so you know, when you marry him, he left the mic open!!!

Suzanne said...

On a lone cold rainy day...standing at a truck stop...

Suzanne said...

You know he's gonna wake up and find this!!! God I wish I could be a fly on the wall!!!!

Merely Me said...

Too funny!

Leah said...

heee!

just bob said...

Well, well, well.... looks like someone else appreciates bananas besides me.

Anyway, don't forget to Stop on by the Blottie Birthday Blog. It's almost two months until the big day!

Suzanne said...

Me birthday. Yes, I still think I'm Irish. Stop by and get yurself a wee bit-o-magic. I am British you know. The Ingersoll side. I pretend I'm from Bath and lived in a wee castle. I probably did, but honestly, the castle side is the Howard side. Yes, as in Howard Castle. Yes...trust me. It's true!!! Don't even ask me. The story is insane. I'M NOT WORTHY!!! Nor is my family.

Leah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen ^..^ said...

Suzanne, you are too funny. I'm so glad for that. You always find a way to make me smile.

Bob, hope you aren't too gassy from the miracle monkey food. It works well, yes? Plus, lots of potassium to prevent any muscle atrophy from illness.

I'm glad you are feeling better, Bob.

Suzanne said...

Oh God, I fogot, this is my blog and I'm supposed to respond. I was waiting all this time to hear from Bob. Dear Lord. Sorry everybody!!!

Merelyme: Hi honey! How's Sweetie-Pea? Still holdin' up? You breast feeding yet?

Too funny? You bet!! Actually it's a take on my Dad's poem about beans. He used to remind us kids religiously:

"Beans, beans the magical fruit.
The more you eat the more you toot."

Yes, it's true, I come from a freakin' family of comedians. No, I'm not kidding. Who's dad does that to them? Oh, right, my dad. I'm sure you guys think I make this crap up. No. You can't make crap like this up.

Trust me.

Love ya honey!

Suzanne said...

Leah,

Oh woman of few words. "Heeeeee." Where is he? Did I miss him? You know young lady I have a pretty good post up and not a word from you. I'm highly insulted. Hummmmmmmmmm, while writing this I'm looking at Megan. Not a word from her either. Hummmmmmm. Nor from Kylie. Hummmmmmmmmm. You bunch-o-bitches. Don't even talk to me.

Suzanne said...

Darling Bob,

I love bananas.
I love my birthday blog.
And I love you.

Thanks darling. Hope you're feeling better. Oh, and honey, can you believe you opened your blog to us?!!! You nutty!!!

XO

Suzanne said...

Comment deleted,

How dare you. You know me. I NEVER accept a delete. Who are you? At least own up to it.

No to the crew. I didn't delete that!!!

Suzanne said...

Karen,

My darling Karen. I need more bananas. Having leg cramps recently. God they hurt!!! I need to take my own advice.

Glad I can make you laugh cuz I owe you a whole hell of a lot for all the joy you bring to my life. Love you so. You know what else? I'm so glad I don't live near San Jose with Bob being so "gassy" and all.

;)

Suzanne said...

Hi Bob.

Yes, you can have it back tomorrow.

What? No, not today because I have to respond to my fans!!! You made this bed, now lie in it.

XO Love ya!

just bob said...

Suzanne... your posts get more comments on my blog than mine do.

Leah said...

I deleted! I admit.

Suzanne said...

Bob, that's too funny. I don't think that true.

Suzanne said...

YOU deleted. What did you say? No, I'm not kidding. What did you say?

Suzanne said...

Bob,

You wanna know something funny? Hardly anyone calls me Suzanne unless I'm in trouble. It makes me laugh. Hey Robert, guess what? What? I couldn't resist.

XO Blottie!!!

Leah said...

It was a stupid joke.

But I'll never repeat it.

Hey, this is Wild Onion-ish tonight!

Severus and I are sitting here hoping someone will bust out the absinthe and sugar cubes!

Suzanne said...

Feels so comfortable here. Like home. BoB, what's on the menu tonight? You know how I always think about food.

Suzanne said...

Oh dear God...Suze drags the Macys sofa over from the Wild Onion. And repeats montra:

"Will I never be rid of them...
Wiil I never be rid of them..."

Thank God, no!!! I couldn't live with out your sorry ass!!!

Hi baby. No, nothing changes. Nothing. I absolutely love you to bits.

XO

Suzanne said...

Oh, and Severus is always invited. You know how we love that boy!!!

kylie said...

baked beans, good for your heart,
baked beans make you fart,
the more you fart, the better your heart,
baked beans. good for your heart

Suzanne said...

Kylie,

You are RIGHT MY DEAR WOMAN. I'll tell you why. When I lived in LA I went through a funky depressing period as you all know, and had to see Dr. Shoen (Marc) for therapy. After a few months of one on one he asked me to go into "group" as well. I was a bit hesitant at first because I'm a very private person, but swear to God it was the best experience of my life. I met the most amazing people. I remember every single one of them with such fondness to this day. This was group therapy for people with chronic or terminal illness. It was eye opening. You guys know this all took place at Cedars-Sinai. Many of the members of my group had cancer. I wouldn't have known that, except on my first day, after I introduced myself, I asked "Why are you all here?" Marc went wacky for a minute and said "Suzanne, we don't ask personal questions like that here." "Sorry Marc." And then it happened. Everyone started telling their story. Everyone. By the time the hour was up, everyone knew one another and I think Marc was beside himself with joy. (Yes he learned something that day!) One 30 something year old, pregnant with twins and the wife of a doctor at Cedars was scared to death she was going to die before bringing her children into the world. She had to have a C-Section in a few weeks and she was so frightened. I asked why? She said "Because if don't, I won't make it, but I'm scared I won't even make it if I do. I'm crying just writing this. I'll never forget her. I hope she's still alive because she was so lovely. Her twins are 18 by now.

In group was my gorgeous, elegant neighbor. She didn't recognize me and I was so grateful. Her heart just spilled into the room. She was dying and she knew it. I lived in a luxury condo at the time and she and her husband's condo was next to our and in full view (the building was "L" shaped. They drove a Rolls Royce and had the most beautiful condo I've ever seen. Stunningly beautiful. I used to tell Rob "When I grow up, I want a condo like that!!!" Seriously. I listened to her that day and she talked about her children and her darling grandchildren, and worried she would break their hearts. She was so beautiful. Her hair perfect (wig). Nails perfect. Outfit? Gorgeous. She was tailored and she was dying. And she did. A week later. Her husband sold the condo within weeks and moved to another unit in the building. I remember seeing them on their balcony a few days before she died. They were watching the sunset and he was trying to make her smile. She didn't smile. She knew. I felt as if I was imposing on one of the most personal moments between a husband and wife. I'll never forget it, or her pain.

Finally, beans. Another member of group was also dealing with cancer and going through Cancer Treatment Centers of America. A very holistic approach to cancer. Something very, very interesting. She still had a thick, full head of hair after multiple rounds of kemo. She attributed it to beans. She ate beans every single day. She explained why beans are so important when dealing with cancer, but I can't remember exactly what she said, but I'm sure you can Google it. However, I'll always remember this, "Oh sure, you fart every day, but at least you're alive...and look at my hair!!!" I'll never forget her. Never. She was a very wealthy Beverly Hills wife and I'm sure she's still a very wealthy Beverly Hill wife!!! And I'm sure she's still eating beans!!!

Marc's group therapy change that day. We all just blossomed together. It was truly a gift. Yes, we lost many, but we're still a team. I know they remember me as much as I remember them.

Beans. I advocate beans.

Suzanne said...

Bananas are good too.

Okay Bob, I'm done. You can take your blog back. But watch out. I'm lurking!!!

Love you darling. Hope you're feeling much better.

XO Blottie *drags Macy's sofa back over to the Wild Onion.*