Out of Hibernation

Out of hibernation, just like this fellow

If you're still out there, you are probably surprised to find something new up here. I don't blame you. What used to be a semi-active corner of the internets slowly became a dusty corner with cobwebs, seemingly abandoned.

In the heyday of "The Essence of Bobness," you could find quippy writing, a laugh or two, and a healthy slice of honesty about life in general and mine in specific. I used this place, much to the chagrin of my readers I'm sure, as a bit of group therapy to get through some awful tough stretches back on the west coast. My life sucked, my job sucked even harder, and the people I worked with royally sucked. But you took it all in stride, offered up yourselves as cheap, but caring therapists, and kept encouraging me to find a light at the end of the tunnel, to pull myself up from my bootstraps, and struggle on until things got better.

Well, things did get better... and I didn't keep writing to share that with you. I feel guilty about that. Maybe I was subconsciously trying to keep them all to myself, afraid that having not had many triumphs that if I gave them away there wouldn't be any more to come. Not really fair on my part. If you made the trek over to Facebook, you kind of know how things are now. Single sentence updates, sort of Bobness cliff notes if you are old enough to remember them from high school.

A quiet Saturday has drawn me back here... hopefully for more than just a once a month visit. Life here in the Great White (and melting) North has been everything I'd hoped it would be. Everyday is a new adventure, staring down the enormity of the task at hand, focusing on what needs to get done immediately, and prioritizing the rest. I can't say for certain how often I'll keep updating this blog, or how entertaining or enlightening it will be, but I'm going to give it a shot. As Blottie keeps on writing, there is a difference between Facebook and Blogger that I somehow lost in the increasingly quickening pace that life has become for me. It's kind of ironic that things got faster by moving to a slower, smaller place.

But let me fill in the gaps for you. The people here are great. Everyone knows just about everyone else, but more importantly they care about each other. When you ask "How are you doing" you actually get an answer, not just a response. If someone needs a little bit of help, people pitch in, roll up there sleeves, and pick them up. Kind of like the little community we've got going on here. I've been able to stop taking all of my medications. The blood pressure is back down where it is naturally supposed to be, and I don't get the panic attacks that were so ever present back in California. Some days are rougher than others, but the worst day here has probably been better than the best day back there.

I love my job again. While I'll never be a morning person, I don't mind getting up at 5:30 in the morning to be at work by 7:30. I don't watch the clock for 5:01pm to flee my workplace, and more times than not work well past 6:00pm. Some of that is because there is so much to do, but it is mostly because what I do matters again. It matters to the people here in Bemidji, to the people I work for and with, and it matters to me. I'm not just going through the motions, dreading the next minute, hour, or day like I did months ago. The calendar shows I've only been gone from that for three months, but it seems like a lifetime ago.

But I've missed all of you. I've missed reading RC's crazy and funny stories and writing. (By the way, if you haven't bought her book yet you better hop to it before she becomes a mega-star and forgets us). I've missed Leah and her talented writing. Even though she keeps poking me at all hours of the day and night, I've missed Kylie and her tales from down under. I've missed chatting online with Megarific. I've missed the on again, off again, I'm blogging, I'm not blogging, I'm leaving Facebook, I'm coming back to Facebook of Suzanne. (Honey, I'm so sorry about your loss... I hope you find some peace in your memories of your brother Gary). And Cece, MerelyMe, and on and on and on.

I'm pouring a lot of my creativity into my work, expanding my horizons and doing things I never thought I'd ever be doing. So don't expect much of that here. But like a few other goals I've set for myself, I'm committed to writing here more and catching up with all of your blogs when time allows and tiredness relents. Thanks for helping me survive a very difficult stretch in my life. Words can not fully relay how much it means to me. You were, and are, the friends and companions I didn't have by my side physically. But you were always just an internet connection away.

Now on with life, with much brighter minutes, hours, weeks, and years ahead. I hope you'll stick around and share them with me.