For three hours tonight, the world came to a stop. I had a chance to feel something inside which has escaped me... complete peace and joy. At the San Jose Sharks game tonight, the weight of the world was lifted and my heart and soul were filled with the kind of happiness that has been lacking in my life. It was the kind of exhilaration that you felt as a kid, when you had no worries, no problems, only the freedom and spirit of being a child. The rush was euphoric. I have not felt that blissfully content since one weekend in January.
On the way home reality came thundering down. How am I going to pay for the brakes I need, the next round of playoff tickets, the car insurance, the rent? When (or will) she ever respond to any of my messages? Did my honest outburst last week ruin everything? Why is this pain in my jaw returning after going away for a week? What's next?
I've never taken anything stronger than alcohol (more proof of my geek/nerd ness), but I can understand why drugs are so prevalent. The ability to escape reality on command and feel some peace or joy must be a large part of their addictiveness. There's still some game seven bliss floating around... hopefully I'll capture enough to bring a good night's rest, soothing dreams, and a little bit of joy to end the day. Hard to remember the last time that occurred.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Peace and joy, for now
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