Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Will She or Won't She?

Will she or won't she contact me tonight?

Looking rationally at this question, from a detached perspective, there are only two possible answers:


YES/NO

But when have I ever been rational when it comes to "Elsie"? A few of my psychoses relevant to this discussion will be my penchants for overanalysis, reading too much into a situation, and setting myself up for disappointment. So here's the back story... I last chatted with her on Saturday night. It didn't last very long and I suspect she wasn't too excited to hear from me (overanalyzing). I saw her online using Yahoo IM, which is a rarity. She must have slipped up and not logged in as "invisible" as she usually does. My plan was to wait and see if she would respond to a previous offline message and initiate a conversation (my need for acceptance). After what seemed like an eternity, in reality an agonizingly long three minutes, I couldn't hold back and made the first move. I was funny and flirty, she was more matter-of-fact-ish. I sensed (overanalyzed) she was bothered that she had left her profile visible and now was placating me (reading too much into a situation).

Anyway, it's Wednesday now. I've given her some space and won't press my luck. I'll wait for her to contact me. Left to her own schedule, I hear from her about once a week, less if she's traveling. This is a constant source of personal consternation and doesn't help my self-image issues. As you can see, if she doesn't I'll be setting myself up for a disappointment. I promised myself that I'd be patient and let her move at her own pace. But just like Saturday night, I keep jumping in and trying to rush things. As an aside, this is because I think she's great and we could be perfect for one another (how's that for setting myself up for disappointment!). Hopefully I won't torture myself if she doesn't check in. In the past, the world would come to an end if I didn't hear from her. Now it just jerks suddenly like a small earthquake... enough to get your attention but not disrupt your day. Maybe I'm getting better at rolling with the punches.

2 comments:

Justin said...

Man, I know how you feel about pressing things...especially if you think she is worth it. But I think patience is the key...easier said than done. I wish I had some sage advice perfect for this time, but I don't have anything you haven't already heard! Good luck!

megabrooke said...

I hope that she calls! Sometimes I just sign on quick to IM, and sometimes it just automatically does it, me not even realizing it. I don't know the whole back story here, but I hope that you hear from her soon.

Thanks for stopping by my digs by the way!