Monday, January 19, 2009

Etiquette

(This was going to be the space for a thoughtful post about Martin Luther King, Jr.)


Explicit Language: You've been warned.

I'm normally a fairly low key person. I'd like to think that most people who read this blog regularly (BTW, thanks) have come to that conclusion. It is in my nature to generally keep my emotions in check. But now I'm fucking pissed.

Laundry.... not my favorite chore to begin with. Anyway, it's MLK Day and not everyone has the day off so my game plan is to get into the laundry room first thing in morning when the property manager unlocks the door. There is only two washers and two dryers, so demand can be high. Anyway, at 8:05am I go downstairs to the laundry room and just as I planned it I have the place to myself. Relief. I get two loads of clothes into washers, two blue balls, some detergent and I'm on my way. Because I have some manners and etiquette (and I want to keep the laundry timeline moving along), I set my kitchen timer when I get upstairs for the time the washers would be done. A little coffee, some more coffee, and a few emails and the timer goes off. I grab my quarters and next two loads and downstairs I go.

I open the door and here I find some fucking bitch taking MY laundry out of the machine so she can get to it. It has been less than five fucking minutes since the machine finished and she's got her paws all over my stuff. What kind of raving fucking bitch asshole touches someone's personal things? Totally out of character for me: "Hey, what the hell are you doing? That's my laundry. Get your hands off of it." She is what I'd term elderly and now shocked that someone would speak to her that way. "Look lady, I got here early and your going to have to wait until I'm done." I think my tone, volume, and icy stare scared her and she sheepishly placed her laundry basket in the corner and slinked out of the room. Current status: two loads now in the dryers, and two more in the washers.

When the fuck did people stop having manners and etiquette? I've lived in apartments nearly 10 years and dorms in college 4 more years and NEVER taken someone else's laundry out of a machine so I could use it. Have you ever heard of anything so rude and fucking obnoxious? I plan my laundry. I watch the clock so I don't take up machines that someone else can use. I clean my own dryer lint screens so people don't have to touch my residue. I'm considerate to people who I have to live amongst. I have manners and practice some etiquette around them, even when I don't get the same in return. Current status: I'm still pissed off at that fucking bitch. If I had enough quarters, I'd keep running those machines empty the rest of the day just so she couldn't use them until late night. I was in a good mood, ready to get a lot accomplished today. Bitch.

22 comments:

Abi said...

I'm so sorry but I snorted out loud and did a little pee in my knickers, maybe I'll send you the laundry bill :P... poor old lady. Rofl!

You sounded like Jack Nickleson in As Good As It Gets.... fear the wrath of Bob if you get in the way of his laundry routine!!

j merlino said...

Etiquette does seem to be so passe... so 20th century. I went to the gym the other day, put my water bottle and towel on the treadmill then went to go get a paper towel and cleaner (the person before me didn't clean their sweat off the treadmill). I went back to the treadmill and found my stuff was put on the next treadmill (which didn't have a working heart rate monitor). I just glared at the bitch and she said something like "Oops, sorry"

kylie said...

i've never used a communal laundry except on holidays in camping grounds and in those places it is standard practice to remove stuff from a washer. i always try not to look at it though.
i also know that the guy at the local laundromat removes stuff from washers if the customer isnt there to get it
i'm glad you posted this bob or i might have felt the icy stare.
if theres anytrhing that can break me it's an icy stare

cheers
k

Megan said...

I feel you. Oh, how I feel you on this one!!!!

Fucking bitch!

Anonymous said...

You should of punched her in the face. It's what I did to that old man who tried to take my towels out of the drier with five minutes left on the timer.

He hasn't been back since...

Anonymous said...

WV: andmis... "And Ms? Why are you f'ing touching my clothes?!"

Eww! The memories! Tonight I will dream of every dreaded communal laundry thingy. Interesting that one I can picture but can't place...all the others the memories come flooding back.

I'd also love to be reading her blog right now. ;) Hope you feel better as tomorrow starts out fresh and clean!!! (Really, pun intended.)

Penelope said...

Ohhhhhh . . .

Man, this is just another affirmation of why I'm so glad to own a house and no longer live in an apartment.

Karen

a. said...

I am amazed at what people will do when it comes to the laundry room. If the dryer is done, but there are still clothes in it, I give the guy/gal at least an hour to come collect their things. After that I figure I'm free to remove their clothes & put them on the folding table. I would never take someone's wet clothes out of the washer. That happened to me once and it pissed me off for the same reason. I'm always down there within 5 minutes of the buzzer.

Cece said...

I think it is funny that some people think that you owe them something just because they have lived long enough to earn it. About 4 years ago I went to a conference in Orlando. The boys were only about 3 and I had to leave them home with their dad and his mom for a whole week. I was on my return flight when I had a layover in Dallas. There was a Senile Citizen Bitch From Hell in the waiting room. She kept complaining about how incompetent the airlines were. And about how rediculous it was that we had to wait for so long. I had a pretty good book with me, so I sat in the corner with my carryon bag next to me trying to tune her out and read. Much to my horror, when we got to board our plan, my seat was right next to me. Let me tell you this woman was evil. She was the most dispicable excuse of a human being I had ever encountered, sans Crazy Neighbor. I was and am overweight, so when I sat down next to her she became annoyed because I was taking up more space then she liked. But instead of sitting there quietly and taking it, she began to ridicule me loudly. She said horrible things like, "Fat people disgust me." and "How can people just let themselves go like that?" At first I just sat there in quiet humiliation. I pulled my arms again myself trying to take up less space. The hostess informed the old hag that she would accommadate her to a new seat as soon as everyone boarded. She told the lady that the flight was only half booked, therefore, it should be a problem to find her a new seat. But this shedevil was relentless. There I was sitting there. I was homesick. I missed my boys terribly, and I was miserable. Eventually, I had heard enough. I had taken enough abuse and I turned to that vile creature and I said, "SHUT UP YOU OLD INSUFFERABLE BITCH." Just because you are old, does not give you the right to talk about people this way. Yes, I am fat. I'm sorry, but I am also human, and I have feelings. And if you continue to talk about me the way that you have been, I will slap you silly. Now shut your mouth and do not speak until she finds you a new seat." The whole entire plane because deathly silent. The old woman sat there with her jaw on her knees. I guess she was shocked that someone stood up to her. The stewartess quickly found her a new seat, and finally one of the male passengers clapped and actually commended me for speaking up to the old hag. When we finally landed in Little Rock, our baggage was delayed (yes this was flight from hell) And again the old hag was insufferable, but someone else told her to zip it, that we had all heard enough from her. The old sour puss sat down and waited for her bags. I was never so happy to get home to my boys, and I have never gone on another trip since then. I've actually never flown again either. Wow, I can't believe I just typed that story out. Sorry for all the typo's, for I'm sure there are plenty. Well, now it is bed time Oh and before I forget. I think you are the best and thanks for my Birthday Post.

xo,
Cece

just bob said...

Abi... snorting on my blog is permissible, peeing is not!

coloradohurricane... That's exactly the kind of behavior I'm talking about. Isn't people's personal property sacred anymore?

Kylie... no icy stares for you, as long as you don't touch my laundry :)

Megan... sound like you've lived the experience yourself. It sucks here.

phuckpolitics... Punching isn't really my style. Then again, yelling at senior citizens isn't either but I did that. Maybe if had been a guy instead of a woman?

merely me... I hate having to share laundry facilities with other people. I'd almost rather take it down to the creek and beat it against a rock.

Penelope/Karen... One of the many perks of ownership!

Annie Ha... if I had left my stuff down there an hour I likely would have cut her some slack. But geez, the drum had barely stopped from the spin cycle when she was poaching on machines I was still using. UGH

just bob said...

Cece... wow, your bitch from hell makes my washing witch seem like Mary Poppins. If I used the "c-word" your evil woman would probably qualify for it!

Suzanne said...

Cece, you're my kinda "Lady!" I'm proud of you. I'm also skinny, so you know I'd give you my extra room. We'd sit, chat, laugh, order some chocolate beer and have a good old time because this is Indiana, right? Right? (I love you woman!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!)

Bob, what am I going to do with you? Here's my advice honey: Life is short...relax into it (coming from someone who can't relax into anything!).










Of course I'm laughing...
;)

Karen ^..^ said...

Bob::
Ettiquite for anything seems to have gone out the window completely, and family loyalty has followed it. Sad. Respect for parents is virtually nonexistent, and tolorance is nil.

She must have been laying in wait for your washer to stop so she could put her grubby hands on it. Unreal. As if she had anywhere to go that day, besides bingo or shuffleboard. Some retirees do tend to have a unique sense of entitlement, especially here in sunny Florida.
:(

Queen Goob said...

I'd have taken her out for you if I were there because - you know - it's okay for girls to hit other girls.

Karen ^..^ said...

Oh, and poor Cece!!! So glad you stood up to the old bitch. It wasn't because she was old. It was because she was evil. She probably treated people like that her entire life, and only now sometimes gets away with it because she's practically dust. Some people just SUCK.

j said...

Remind me not to get on your bad side.

:)

Queen Goob said...

Full out NINJA....that's what I would have done.

Suzanne said...

Hey Mr. Sunshine...Obama became Pres today.

Suzanne said...

Didjaforget?

Megan said...

Hi bob.

Suzanne said...

Hi Bob

CSI Seattle said...

I once put my clothes in a clothes dryer and forgot they were there. I went to dinner, or on a road trip, or some other event that kept me away for a while. When I came back, all my clothes were folded neatly on top of the dryer, just waiting for me.

Didn't really want someone messing with my stuff, but then again, the clothes got folded.