Why in the world does Orville Redenbacher list the nutritional information for unpopped popcorn? Are there people actually buying microwave movie theater butter flavored popcorn and eating it straight out of the bag without cooking it? Are there people who crave the taste of raw corn kernels, buttered oil and salt? Does one get so hungry in eager anticipation of popcorn that they can't wait the 3 minutes it takes to prepare it?
Is there a huge population of uncooked popcorn eaters in North America? If there is, why would they buy microwave popcorn when they could buy kernels in bulk for less? Is it the convenience of having the salt and oil pre-mixed and coated on the kernels in individual packaging? How did Orville Redenbacher determine that 2 tablespoons of unpopped corn is the appropriate portion size? Did the community of raw corn kernel eaters contact the late Redenbacher and clamor for 2 tablespoons to be the international standard for uncooked corn?
Did Orville Redenbacher know something the rest of the population does not know? Are raw corn kernels soaked in buttery oil and salt even tastier than their fluffy, white popped counterparts? Will there be a day when we go to the movie theater and pay $10 for a large tub of unpopped kernels? Will we still be able to order extra butter on our unpopped kernels? Will the secret simplicity of unpopped corn kernels as a late night snack go to the grave with Orville? Is this unpopped nutritional fact on the microwave bags Redenbacher's way of passing along his secret in a cryptic way?
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
WTF
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20 comments:
Questioning Orville Redenbacher is like questioning whether Dave Thomas is really the father of Wendy.
Fruitless and, indeed, perilous.
Accept the pronouncements of The Big O and thou shalt be a happier man.
Bob, seriously, this question has been bothering me for ages--it's not just Orville the Red either!!!
Technically, unpopped popcorn is food and therefore has to come with the nutritional information guide.
A more pressing questions is why does bottled water have the nutritional information? It's water. No fat, no sugars, no carbs, just water.
Maybe Orville is planning a delivery and thinking ahead? I hear there might be some fence to secure it?
Your rants are always amusing, and also informative.
It has to do with the laws of putting food on the supermarket shelves, I'm sure, but its ludicrous nevertheless.
You are so deliciously snarky!
There is a tribe on the outer banks of Mongolia that suck the "juice" off of unpoped kernels of corn, spit the clean kernels into vats to be sacrificed to the god Zea Mays Averta every other full moon, then lick the inside of the packaging with the hopes of increasing their fertility.
THAT'S why The Big O lists the nutritional information on the packaging.
Queen Goob... that explains a lot.
I know.
QG,
You are hilarious.
OH you are too, Bob.
HI everyone!!!!!
I've wondered about that, too.
Karen
hi bob
I have heard the answer to this mystery before... I think it is mandated by the gov't... food makers are supposed to include the nutritional information as packaged. So if you look at the info on, say, a bag of frozen corn- the manufacturer has to put the nutritional information of the corn frozen (so the amount of vitamins & minerals, etc you will get is less than it says on the package because you lose some in cooking). So Orville (May God rest his soul) is actually being nice by putting the popcorn as popped 'cause he didn't have to do that.
You never know what kind of information can end up being useful.
I'll tell you the truth. I'm so f*&$&#g tired, I don't care!!! The only time I think about the "Big O," is when I'm having one and trust me honey, I'm not looking at a nutritional label or thinking about some guy who invented flying corn while I am. What?
XO Blottie
P.S. Hi everyone (yes, I'm too damn tired to type all your names).
They should severely restrict popcorn advertising I think as popcorn causes popcorn lung. Better to smoke which is not as bad as for you and has a long history of treating (alleged) illnesses related to the habit.
Oscar Robertson will always be the Big O.
I'll probably never throw another tennis ball to T-Bone and not think of Robertson. Thanks for that. And yes, I read the whole thing. What a remarkable man.
I told you once I have an amazing story about a famous basketball player. It's Kareem Abdule-Jabbar. It's hilarious now, but wasn't then. Oh, and trust me if he ever Googles himself and finds my story, he'll remember. In fact I'm sure he thinks about it once in awhile all on his own!!!
XO
Yes to all of those questions.
Microwave popcorn is loaded with all kinds of nasties. Cooking it on the stove, though more of a pain in the butt, produces a better, healthier product.
They should just replace the nutritional value statement with, "Trust, you don't want to know. Just eat it."
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