I used to anticipate playing golf... now I can't be bothered
I used to enjoy the challenge of cooking... now I make something easy and fast
I used to have plenty of blog ideas... now I have nothing to share
I used to look forward to work... now I'd like to curl up and stay in bed forever
I used to have a spirit for driving and exploring... now I go where I need to
I used to care how I looked and felt... now I don't
I used to try more things... now I don't have the energy or desire
I used to dream... now I just sleep
I used to have desire... now I have melancholy
I used to go out... now I keep to myself
I used to want to write a book... now I can barely form a sentence
I used to be uplifted by music... now it is just background noise
I used to have confidence... now I am full of uncertainty
I used to wish for someone in my life... now I want to be alone
I used to think better times were ahead... now I settle for not so bad
I used to have a place in this world.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
I used to...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
16 comments:
You are effing amazing. I am sorry you don't see it. Depression sucks. You are in my thoughts. Take care of yourself please.
It sounds like you between the dark and the elusive dawn. I'm sorry.
You have a really loyal group of people out here who are totally pulling for you. Pharmaceuticals and therapy help too. And I agree with merelyme: take care of yourself, please.
you have a place in my world
It amazes me how much a bad job can affect your outlook from day to day. It can beat you down till you just don't care anymore. It can harm even the most happy go lucky people.
Bob, try to simplify. True happiness comes in the simplest forms. If you can't get out of this job, perhaps some anti depressants will get you over this hump for now.
but I strongly feel that if you are out of this bad situation you are in, job wise, then you will be much happier.
Hi Bob, I'm back checking in on you. I'm sure you got a chance to read my above comment by now and I'm going to quietly remove it as (I know it's probably hard to believe from my sometimes tell-all blog posts but I'm quite a private person about some things from my past) it was really intended just for you dear chap.
Just know we're all here for you. Really really!
Hey Bob I am still planning to be up there the weekend after Super Bowl.
So if you want to have a drink or dinner or something, let me know.
If not, no harm, no foul, but I am going to get a confirmatory picture of the fence in any case...
Meg
Hi darling. I'm late for the park, and now even later, but for a good reason. You know I write this with tears in my eyes. All the comments are so genuine and kind and I hope you're able to hear them. My message is no different. Like everyone else I'll be here forever because I love you and want the best for you. Please, please, please see your doctor. Please. And if you have the energy please take Megan up on her offer. You know we've all been through depression (obviously!!!) and know the drill. It's often a relief to have someone who understands offer comfort and an honest to God hug. I can't imagine you'd regret sitting down with her over a beer and a good slice of pizza.
You're surrounded by friends who adore you, so please don't forget to lean on us. And honey, Cece is such a wonderful person to talk to about just anything. I know she's asked you to call and I assume you haven't taken her up on her offer. I hope you do. 10 minutes with Cece is like a week in the thereapist's office! Trust me! Her southern voice is so soothing and the direction a conversation takes with her is like the ebb and flow of the tide. You'll see. Hang in there.
With love,
Me
And you still do. Your place in this world is here with all of us. You don't realize it, but you have become a very necessary person in our lives. I know that when I log on to my blog, I look forward to reading a comment from you. You matter to a lot of people even though we have never seen you face to face. You do mean something to us. And you are special to our lives wheather you feel so or not. It is true. We worry about your mental well being and we worry about you when you are sitting in the mind numbing darkness within the hole in your soul. But you must realize that we all have the darkness within us. It is just that some of us are better at climbing out of the pit than others. Unfortunately, you are struggling at the moment with your climbing ability, but we are trying to throw you a rope ladder. I hope you will grab on and climb out and come back to us soon. Thinking and concerned about you.
With much love,
Cece
P.S. the wv is Stall. Kind of fitting. Don't ya think?
blogosphere=part of my world.
therefore, you're part of my world.
i know exactly what it's like to have a bad job. i had days where I was bloody miserable going into work. it sucks. but we're here, and we're here for you. keep on keeping on.
You have a place in mine. It's funny how we've become "friends" with people we've never met but how we look forward to hearing from them through our comments. Yours are ones I look for, friend.
I just returned to check up on you and the comments are killing me. Do we have amazing friends or what? We're all so lucky to have found one another. Just keep talking to us, okay? It'll help all of us cope. This is a very beautiful, safe place and you're surround by people who care.
I made a great meal for Rob's mom today, meat loaf and garlic mashed potatoes. I thought of you the whole time because I knew you'd LOVE it!!! (Yes honey, it was delicious! I'm actually a good cook despite what you've heard). I wish we had a guest house and you could come stay with us a bit to relax and heal. Unfortunately we don't, but you're always welcome here. With all the kitties, dog and craziness around this joint, I'm not sure it would be much of a spa vacation, or even relaxing for that matter, but it would be a whole lotta fun!!! Oh, and I should also mention it would probably be you're great adventure! Oh, and it's rose pruning season too...I could use the help.
Love you dear XO
P.S. Hope you have a decent Monday. I'll be thinking of you, as I'm sure everyone else on this page will. Wish me luck too because I'm off to see the track coach when I return from the park. Don't worry, I'm going to be very gentle and kind. I'll let you know how it all turns out.
Be gentle and kind to yourself. XO
Those used-to times will return. Its a vicious cycle it is. Keep on keepin' on, Just Bob.
Hmmm. Do one small thing that makes you feel connected or better or rested.
Sometimes I just eat a bite of chocolate.
I used to worry about Bob....Now I really worry about Bob.
Bob please find someone to talk to. My brother suffered from severe depression and still occasionally does especially during the winter months.
Bob i do worry
Hey Bob! WTF!
I know we've bantered back and forth about the Golden Banana ... but there really are two seats up front with our names on them.
Let's me and you throw back a few.
My treat! What do you say? You in?
Or we can have a cup at Dunkin'Donuts ... just don't tell my wife I'm going there without her.
Post a Comment