Limbo

Limbo... a state of uncertainty, Dante's First Circle of Hell. Yesterday marked two weeks of living in limbo. I wish I could tell all of you more, but some privacy is needed in this instance. Heck, if I'll tell you about irritable bowels and anti-depressants, you must have figured out by now that I can't say anything. I can confirm it has nothing to do with my health, or the health of anyone close to me. Let the speculation continue. (If you really, really need to know... most of you know how to reach me privately.)

Back to the limbo thing. I'm on the fence whether it is worse knowing or not knowing. These two weeks have featured a plethora of scenarios playing out in my head, most of them not good. That's the way my brain works, so it is a challenge to fight off those negative thoughts. The longer I go on not knowing, the more and more I seem to lose hope for a positive result. The few people who know what is going on have been extremely supportive and keep boosting up my spirits. Of course, my blogger buddies have lent their good karma too, even though they have no idea why. That's what I call friends.

As much as I want this uncertainty to be over, I'd rather have a positive result even if it does mean not knowing for some more time. It's difficult to concentrate on the present when I'm thinking about the future. Life is full of "what if's," but this one is more important to me than even I'm willing to admit to myself. Now I know first hand why Dante made sure limbo was included in hell.