I'm such a lightweight

There used to be a day, not too long ago, that I could drink... a lot. One of my favorite places back east would serve big boy 22 oz. beers and I could down two before I'd even start to feel the effects. I'm not talking about light beer now, this was fresh, full octane micro-brew straight from the brewhouse. It didn't end with those first two on many nights.

Turn the calendar forward one year and one regular bottle nearly knocks me out. Now, it doesn't give me a buzz or anything like that but it makes me want to take a nap. Seriously, I get really tired after only one. I know it's not very manly to admit that, but for some very strange reason I feel it's kind of an accomplishment.

I was a late bloomer when it comes to alcohol, not getting drunk for the first time till I was in college. It was at a really sketchy dive bar in Fort Lauderdale called Skip's Cobra with the guys from my dorm floor. Some of you may remember those days, when Fort Liquordale was still a hot spot for spring break. The bartenders and wait staff all wore t-shirts with the slogan "No Fat Chicks ever at Skip's Cobra." No wonder a bunch of college guys picked that place. Another reason was probably that it was so easy to get a fake i.d. past the bouncer. I still can't drink rum and coke after that night.

That first night of bed spins and projectile vomiting led to years of drinking to be sociable and part of the group. Somewhere along the way the motive for drinking went from feeling good to not feeling at all. It was the easiest and cheapest way to drown all of my negative, hurtful, and painful emotions and thoughts. It wasn't so much to fit in with the others, it was to fit in with myself. I don't believe I was (or am) an alcoholic, but I do realize now that I abused alcohol. Sure it's probably a big dose of self-rationalization on my part but you've got to cut me some slack. Then a hard life lesson slapped me in the face and woke me up. That's another one of those things I won't go into here, but needless to say it changed a lot things.

I took a pledge that I wouldn't have another drink when I "needed" one, only when I "wanted" one. For some unknown reason, all of those resolutions to lose weight, exercise, be more organized, yada yada yada have fallen by the wayside but this one has stuck. If I was going to waiver, it would have been last week but it never happened. In fact, the thought of drinking never even crossed my mind. It's been a long journey from Skip's Cobra and I'm not proud of some of those days and nights, but I'm pleased that trek is over.