"You need to Slink on back to The Onion. There is a small surprise waiting there for you."
That's what my comment page said this morning when I read it. I was thinking, oh that's nice, Cecile is going to promote my name change at The Wild Onion Cafe. That would be awful sweet of her to do. So, obeying orders from women as I usually do, I made my way over to the blog and found this shocker.
Lo and behold, I was picked to be a bartender at The Wild Onion Cafe. OK, I hate that she went back and found a photo but it's my own fault for originally posting it. Anyway, I had no idea I was even being considered since I didn't fill out an application. I couldn't help but say yes. I suspect it may be that Cecile wants to be the second Blottie recipient. She's secretly been jealous ever since Suzanne was presented the initial award. I'm not sure her intentions are true, I'll have to wait and see.
Nevertheless, I'm honored to be asked. I've never been a guest blogger before, so I'm not too sure what to do. How many posts are too many? What type of topics should I address? More importantly what areas should I avoid? This is a new world for me, hopefully I won't step on too many toes. I'm sure Cecile will keep me in line if I do. I imagine her being a tough but fair boss. I just need to remember to keep listening to her and make sure the culture plates are kept clean.
So here I am. A guest blogger, bartender, and owner of my own website. I never would have imagined all of that when I started doing this back in April.
I guess this says it all....
12 comments:
You crack me up. The is only one rule at The Onion. That rule is: There are no Rules. You can write about what ever suits your fancy. As often as you like. It's a place to let lose and have fun. So we don't usually do anything deep or serious, but if deep and serious is what you like, then by all means write it. But most importantly, come and have fun with us because that is the real reason we blog there.
Oh I was writing in a different language there. That should be There is only one rule at The Onion. I have to go to Sonic now. The boys are wanting a strawberry sundae with an extra cherry. And a Java chiller sounds good to me.
WELCOME TO THE WILD ONION!!!
Gig and I just posted there, so you better high tail your ass over!!! Oh honey, don't worry. We have no expectations, we're the easiest group of people to get along with. Serve us a drink then come sit over on the Macy's sofa with us, or dance, or go play "slops." We are an easy crowd and you are our equal. You don't have to keep the bar clean of anything. Somehow the place just takes care of itself. Poof...it's done! Just don't be like Jorge. He was an arrogant, spoiled, baby. So we promoted him. Technically he's your supervisor, but just come to me if you have any problems with him. I'll drive my pink tricycle directly at him and he'll run like a sissy. He's a brat. A stinking little brat, but he's so cute and funny! Gig found him somewhere in the Netherlands and he is a nasty little fella, but he was so gorgeous we voted for him. Our bad.
Have a blast. Looking forward to my first drink and I.V.'s return
XO
I WAS NUMBER 1!!! BLOTTIE WAS NUMBER 1, but it took so long to write my comment Cece posted twice. Damn. Edit, edit, edit. Now I'm NUMBER 3. Damn.
Okay, it's true. I think Cece would love to be a Blottie, and she should if it doesn't take away from my bubble. Please don't burst my bubble because it matters. I'm rarely #1 at anything! I mean it. It matters. And I'll tell you why in a minute. I think there should be lot's of other Blottie Awards given out because there are so many deserving women. But I'm the first and think there should be some sort of scholarship to the university of my choice or something. I'm not like "A Girl Gone Wild," It's not all about sex and stupidity, I believe in equal rights, equal pay, worked my ass off in college and lived to tell about it...and I still got the Blottie despite the fact I'm opinionated and grey!! Hey!!! Progress! I am so proud of this award and would like it bestowed on so many who came before me and will follow. I love this award for one very special reason...it appreciates woman, no matter their age. It's also an award that recognized a woman for all her "variables," and I like that very much. I like that there are men who love smart, funny, opinionated, thoughtful women and aren't always looking for a 16-18 year old. Men like you fascinate me, and I'm certain you fascinate millions of others.
When I graduated from high school I was amazed to learn in our year book that I was a superlative. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would see my photo. But there I was, "MOST BEAUTIFUL." Not "Cutest," MOST BEAUTIFUL! I remember sitting a long time just looking at the words and crying at the photo Mom submitted, and reflecting. They didn't make sense. There were far more physically beautiful girls in my class, so it didn't make sense. But I realized it wasn't about physical appearance, it was about love. I was a friend to all, lowest to highest, and they had all voted for me. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life, because just a few weeks before I was told I was the kindest person in the whole school, by a young student. I was also in the Home Coming Queen competition, The Football Queen competition and Prom Queen. You have to understand, I'm from a very average family and have nothing to brag about and I went up against the greatest gals in school and was runner up almost every time. And it isn't because of the way I look. I know it's because I honestly loved and cared about people and fellow students recognized that. Physical beauty is skin deep, the rest is what matters. I've learned on my blog, what I learned in high school. That if you care, even a little, it matters.
Love you dear and love my award. Now go out and share it.
XO
Suzanne dear... 16 to 18 year olds are jail bait.
You'll always be my first Suzanne!
Statutes came into play mostly to protect 16 year olds and younger. Laws generally protect them depending on the state. Just so you know. They're technically "jail bait," and rightly so.
I'm glad I will always be your first. That Blottie really matters. It's a gem to behold and an honor to recieve. I will always treasure it. But honestly, I think it's time to share it. You know and understand women (I think!), so know what to do. And fortunately your next recipient will post it a hell of a lot sooner than I will!!! (Trust me honey, I'm tryin'!) Gig...I need an assistant!!!
XO
By the way, nice color change!
Well hell...should I leave you three alone?! I feel as if I have wondered in to a 'threesome'! Couldn't spell the French version of that word...sorry...*wicked grin*!
Funny I leave comments all the time here and seem to never get a response. Hmmm...wonder why that is? Suze! Did you not tell him that I was one the orginal 'frenchmaid' wearing barwenches at the orginal bar?! And Suze are you still going off about the the whole #1 thingy?! COME ON GIRL! You know that I am #1(A) and you are #1(B) girly. Just keeping it real!
Ok...wait! Bob before you totally go off...this is a running joke with Suze and me...promise, go ask! I just have a feeling that if I don't state that here...I might be up for the slaughter quickly! LMAO!
Just looking for a little blog love once in a great while! Not to much to ask is it Bob! *trying so hard not to show the desperation in voice*
Hugs,
Robyn
Threesome indeed! But heck, I'm going to post a comment too. Just to welcome Bob to the Onion. Cece, it was an inspired hire, I'll concede.
Bob, just listen to Cece, a post can be anything, anytime, let your imagination run wild (or your freak flag fly, as I like to do!), or just nothing much at all.
See you at your second job!
A big welcome to The Onion, Bob!!
Please hold on while I converse with Blottie, I am working on that assistant problem, just no takers as of yet...
Ok, sorrry bout that Bob, but you know how Blottie can be, gotta love her, she is #1 in my book too. Did ya notice only the "girls" are here so far, hmmm...I think you will do just great at The Onion...in fact you may be able to keep that bossy Jorge in line...
Well, gotta run, going to girl party, for a co-worker...booze, food, booze, boat ride, booze...sounds like a fun afternoon, now if the sun would reappear and make it a little warmer in northern Michigan.
See ya at the Onion!!
Leave it to my nemesis (Robyn) to burst my bubble. What a B*&CH. She couldn't leave well enough alone and just let me finally be #1. Nope, not Robyn. Okay, the boxing gloves are going back on (man it's going to be hard to drive my tricycle with them, but she's a lurker and I've gotta be ready at all times).
Yes, it's true, she was #1 on Brians blog and I basically begged my way into the #1b slot (no really, I did, in fact I created it). I think I was known by all as the groveling fool. Robyn didn't have to lift a finger to be #1. I had to work like hell for #1b (actually I thought Leah was #1, so technically that makes me #1c), so see Bobness, when I said "being #1 means so much to me," I wasn't joking!!!
And all of you...knock it off with this menage a trois crap. No really. If I have to put on my helmet and get on my pink tricycle and come over there to straighten things out, trust me, it's isn't going to be pretty (cuz peddlin' this damn thing's hard and I'll arrive all sweaty and exhausted).
Toot-a-loo...heading to the Cafe for a bit of refreshment and some relief from my very difficult training routine. Nice to see so many of my Peeps here. I'd respond to all, but I do believe that would be a novel and an invasion of Bobness's privacy because this is his blog. Right?
Hi Bob!
Or is that Bobness'?
Post a Comment