I was asleep last night at midnight, like I am the other 364 nights of the year. Then it started. Someone in the neighborhood thought it was a good idea to shoot off some firecrackers to ring in 2009. Annoying, yes... but not really a big deal. I could hear professional fireworks in the distance, and the pop, pop, pop of the amateurs across the parking lot. So I rolled over and went back to sleep.
Then some asshat, who I will find someday, exploded what sounded like a full stick of dynamite. Even with my eyes closed, the flash from the explosion pierced the night and made its way to my pupils. The windows rattled from the compression wave and every car alarm in a five mile radius was triggered. Of course, all the drunken idiots whose car horns were honking and beeping couldn't be bothered to silence them. Either they were too busy partying or thought the wailing of sirens was a nice compliment to the pyrotechnics shows taking place all over.
This nonsense went on for about half an hour before things eventually settled down. I'm guessing the all the fireworks had finally been expended and the car alarms didn't have the same desirable ambiance without explosions. I'm so grateful to have such thoughtful and considerate neighbors. Thanks for the shitty start to another year.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Nice beginning
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
21 comments:
who's a happy boy then?
asshat is my favorite word. totally fun. Nighty night.
A nice way to ring in the new year, eh?
I slept through all of that stuff, only to wake up to my son throwing up around 1:30 a.m. Just like new years' celebrations of old, except I wasn't the one throwing up.
Hope you catch up on your sleep tonight.
And "asshat" is a great word.
Don't even get me started about drunken idiots and fireworks. Remember just four months ago I lived down the street from the fireworks stand in redneck hell.
Karen
Ugh, sorry for that, Bob. I know what that is like. It is only since I moved to Florida that drunken idiots seem to set off as many fireworks as they do on 4th of July. When I lived in NJ, we had one such idiot, who went outside with his shotgun and fired it off. God only knows how many poor unsuspecting animals he killed those nights.
Asshat is a classic word, and I use it almost every day. LOL.
Awww, you grumpy thing, at least no one puked on your doorstep....
We had fireworks in our neighborhood too. I think my nextdoor neighbors were not only drinking, but smoking too. I think the smell made our dogs high because they were going nutz. Plus right on que at midnight it sounded as if there were huge cannons being blasted into our front lawn. I was attempting to sleep, but with the kids play fighting on our new mats in the living room and the roudy party next door, I gave up. I was not such a happy camper when I had to get up at 5:30 am to go to work though, but I lived through it. Hope the rest of the year goes well, and when it doens't we will be here to catch you when you fall.
Ha wv is dupess!
I was up until 3 am partying and was woken by my nephew jumping on me at around 7. He's sometimes louder than fireworks.
Ear plugs. The orange ones. You can find them at Longs Drugs, back by the pharmacy. They aren't asshat proof, but definately help. Just be sure to take the ear plug between your two fingers and roll it before inserting. It'll expand once in your ear. Rob uses them every night and swears by them. Good luck.
Happy 2009! I can feel it Bob, it's going to be a great year for you!!! ;)
XO Blottie
Kylie... not me
MerelyMe... Thursday night was much better.
Jennifer... I guess a half-hour of fireworks isn't as bad as an afternoon/evening of jazz.
Penelope/Karen... Yeah, part-time rednecks aren't nearly as bad as full-time rednecks.
Karen ^..^ ... It was never that bad in the Florida neighborhood I grew up in.
Abi... I do have that going for me I guess.
Cece... Can we ban fireworks from the Wild Onion Cafe please?
Megan... You deserve to be awoken early if you were partying until 3am.
Suzanne... I know about ear plugs, we use them all the time in my business. I just didn't think I'd need them in the quiet solitude of the Abode of Bobness.
I blame Annie.
One can always use another set of ear plugs. Keep them with the condom in your back pocket...in the event of an emergency.
;)
Robert,
When you call me Suzanne I know you mean business!
You mean the one that's been in there since high school in "event of an emergency" which never happened?
Robert,
Exactly.
I should carry my water wings too in case the next great flood to cover the earth happens.
Hey sweetness, I just posted at the Wild Onion, and went back to check your birthday. Do you realize your birthday isn't posted. That is very unkind. You have until sundown, January 15th to inform Cece. I'm serious. Leave a comment and your sign. I'll see what I can determine about us from my little $1.39 Leo Personal Guide to the Future booklet from Save Mart. I'm going to take a very wild guess. You're a Capricorn (or a Virgo). Close?
Love you darling,
Blottie XO
I'm not so worried about you and water. I'm worried about you and me!!!
This makes me think of those countries where people shoot guns up in the air to celebrate. I think I'd be sleeping UNDER the bed (what goes up must go down)!
Hope you have a wonderful 2009!
asshat is on my list of new words for the new year. Living in the "north country" it was pretty quiet this year.
Positive thinking for all of us will make for a better year!!
Please get your Birthday info to Cece...
You should be here. The rednecks in my neighborhood blow up fireworks (I assume) at every opportunity. They've managed to not only set off our car alarms countless times, but catch the woods on fire several times.
Post a Comment