Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The First Blottie Award

It's certainly not an original idea, but I can't always be expected to be the fountain of innovation! I've got a ton on my plate right now... from solving the tensions in the Middle East, to engineering a car that runs on urine, to surfing the internets for Canadian midget porn I'm a busy, busy man. Time waits for no one, especially when you're bogged down during an uber-slow download of "RCMP's - Randy Canadian Midget Police." Think of it as an XXX rated (or should that be xxx?) Reno 911 for north of the border little people and MJ.

But I digress. I come to introduce yet another web award to the blogosphere. Therefore, I now unveil to the world the "Blottie Award." I arrived at the term Blottie from a combination of "blogger" and "hottie." Hence, those are the initial qualifications for eligibility... you must be a female blogger and exhibit hottie characteristics. So, you may ask what are hottie characteristics? Well, they are what I say they are and can change at a moment's notice. One day you're hot, the next you're not. Basically, whatever I'm cool with whenever doling out these esteemed awards. There are no swimsuit or talent competitions yet, but who knows what future years (and Bobness desperation) may bring. The Blottie casting couch gets delivered on Friday.


Ta-da!!! It's a beauty ain't it. And the moment you've all been waiting for.... the inaugural, first-ever, beginning, initial, starting, opening, introductory Blottie Award goes to Suzanne. Why Suzanne? Well someone had to be first and she said in a reply to me recently:

Thanks again for the kind words and being a "hottie" is kinda fun. I've never been one! I think there should be an award for that. Kinda like Random Chick's "Cool" award.
In addition, she's a sweetheart, a Californian, needs some good luck, and I'm #1A on her list if she ever ditches this Rob character she keeps droning on talking about. Now before y'all women get jealous about not getting a Blottie, just remember this won't be the last and you never know when I'm going to be in the mood to bestow the honor on others. Therefore, I'd highly recommend that all the ladies be ever vigilant on their hottie-ness and be aware that the judge (me) can be highly persuadable with the right motivation.

So there you have it... join me in congratulating our first recipient Suzanne and let the games begin amongst the ladies for the next awarding of the coveted Blottie.

14 comments:

Cece said...

Hi Bob,
And yes, Suzanne does deserve the blottie award. No jealousy here. She is a sweetheart and would give you the shirt off of her own back if she thought it would fit you, and if you needed it more. I think you chose well, my man.

Suzanne said...

You two are going to laugh so hard, but when I saw the title I said outloud (to the cats), "But he spelled it wrong!" I'm still laughing. I have laughed so hard through this whole post I have tear in my eyes. Seriously. This one's too good. Oh, and did you notice the kicker? I deleted my post at the Wild Onion and I'll tell you why. Because the next morning I woke up in a panic and through "OH MY GOD, EVERYONE'S GOING TO KNOW MY BIRTHDAY!!!" I'm laughing so hard. Yes, I can be that self absorbed, insecure and lame. No one had commented so I thought "I'm home free," and deleted as fast as I could. I'd planned to stop by and explain this to you earlier, in the event you had been up late too and actually read it, but life has been wacky here because the house is being reroofed, oh and most important, because I'm not supposed to be blogging (right?)! Well, I'm happy someone read it, and happy in particular it was you because your comments really put a smile on my face.

And now look...I get an award that features the sexy image of a woman usually seen on the tire flaps of tractor trailers and 4x4's!!! Yup, I'm movin' up and I'm lovin' it baby!!! I may have to turn it into a sticker and slap it on the window or bumper of my Mercedes (along with all the rest of my awards)! And Cece, can you believe I didn't have to do anything out of the ordinary to get it? Just be me? Hummmmmmm. Well, I'll tell you something, 49 lookin' pretty good so far and so's the last phase of 48! Apparently I got in just under the radar...before the casting couch arrived and the competition starts to heat up. *Wipes sweat from brow.* What a lucky gal I am. It's sorta like being back in college and learning you're going to be grated on a curve. Yipee!

"This is an honor my dear friend and I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for believing in me enough to create such a graphically beautiful award. I'd also like to thank my family, friends and animal friends for making this moment possible. Without all of you, I wouldn't be who I am. A Blottie! I only hope I can live up to your expectations."

Bobness, I love you. Thank you for this. And Cece, you can have my shirt because apparently I should be walking around naked! Who knew?!

XO

Suzanne said...

Yes...I know, that was supposed to be "graded!"

kylie said...

hi bob

Kookaburra said...

G'day Bob,
What a terrific post:) A new word has been entered into the Internet Lexicon.
Congratulations, Suzanne upon receiving the inaugural Blottie Award.
Hi, Cecile. Hi, Kylie.

Anonymous said...

Suzanne is definitely a "blottie." And she tried to sneak away without us finding out that she just had a birthday...sneaky little bugger.

So when do I get my award? ;-)

Anonymous said...

Bob & Suzanne...go to the Wild Onion Cafe. You'll see why.

just bob said...

RC: Check your gmail account for important information!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Bob. Made the necessary adjustment...

just bob said...

Anything (well almost anything) for you RC :)

Jenny said...

I'd like to nominate LUKA for the next award, please.

just bob said...

Aahh, a nominating process... I didn't think of that. Of course, I'll accept nominations but won't actively solicit them.

Luka is duly noted and her blottie-ness will be closely observed for future consideration.

Suzanne said...

I would like to nominate all my "gal-pals." Seeing that there might be a nominating process I thought I'd get in directly after "Boxer," and hope for the best. Why? Because each and everyone of them deserve this award. They're beautiful inside and out. Thanks again for my award honey. I'll collect it in due time. I have about 5 to collect before yours and I'm horrible at collection. Have you noticed?! And of course, I have to take them in the order in which they were received. I haven't even started reentering my blog roll. Everyone knows I need an assistant. I do. Oh, and I've also been asked to take part in another "Gardening Celebration," which of course I will. Dr. P will kick my ass if she reads this. She asked for my blog name, but I smartly refused to give it to her.

Hope your day is going well. Just a few hours left before you're home free. Honey, the Celtics won! Rob nearly went insane. Yup, there is a Rob!

XO

Karen ^..^ said...

Ok, NOW I remember reading this!!! And I remember agreeing to it, after visiting her blog. She is so much like me, with the cats, and stuff. I really like her a lot.

So, I agree totally. She is definitely a blottie. I'm gonna start calling her that too. LOL.